Very stressful two weeks are ending now. It was close to impossible. Packing my things, finishing a very important project at work - which hasn't really ended yet, having people come to see my old apartment - constant phone calls about the apartment from interested people, calls from the landlord, and what not. I hardly had time for myself. I was in a constant rush. I felt I just couldn't take it anymore - but throughout all of this, I didn't forget G-d. I didn't forget for a moment that it is all HIM who does this to me, who puts me on a test, to see how I cope and how I do not lose my temper or start being not-nice to others. I think that overall I passed the test with a good grade - I hope. And I also learned some very important lesson, one that HaShem was trying for a long time to teach me, and only now I realized that it was a lesson and that I should change something in my behavior. I realized what it was - it was something related to my boss at work. She told me that and I realized she was right. I took responsibility and took upon myself to be aware of this and not to repeat it.  It is not easy to find that you were wrong, but it is good to learn this and to change. I think I will be a better person from now on thanks to this lesson.

I'm moving Tuesday. A week later than I was supposed to. I'm already paying rent in the new place. But it is all worth it, since I got to see what I need to improve, and I took upon myself to improve it. All in all, it is not easy. I'm so in need of a home, of a true home, of warmth, of light, of happiness, of belongingness, of understanding. Home - the ingredient I'm missing most in my life.