First, before I explain the meaning of this title, I have to say that the summer time is great for me. I don't like the heat, but in Jerusalem there is very little humidity, so the heat doesn't bother me as much. I try to protect my skin by applying sunscreen and wearing a hat, and the rest of it is fine. So why is the summer so good for me? because I can sit and work on my research quietly, in my favorite place at the Mt. Scopus library. I found a spot there that is so wonderful, and I sit there quietly and focus on my work. And why does it matter if it is summer or another season? Because in the summer, most students are not there, so I can work peacefully and quietly and my favorite place is free, not taken by others. There are still many other people studying there, but it is quieter and more pleasant. It is just great! I so love this place!
There is something mysterious and so special about this campus, about the air, the light, the beauty of the outdoor corners there - you can feel Jerusalem there in such a pronounced way. I don't know what's the secret of this place. I wonder, is anyone really holy buried there? I don't know. I once took a tour on Mt. Scopus, and the guide said that the whole mountain used to be a burial place, so who knows, perhaps there are some really righteous people buried there... One thing I do know: that Nikanor is buried there. The Talmud tells us that Nikanor donated doors of gold to the holy temple. His grave is still there, in the small botanical garden at the campus. Could it be the reason for this magical atmosphere? I also wonder where the doors are...! I think the Romans must have taken these doors back with them to Rome when they destroyed the Temple. Anyway, two days ago I went to the campus to work, and unfortunately, found that the library was closed. It made me so sad. The university is on a break, until Sept. 4th, so it means that I'll have to either work from home or find another place. Well, if this is what Hashem wants, this is what I'll do.
And now to the new door. Wednesday night, as I was coming back home, I prayed to Hashem that He would help me open my channels to receive everything that He wants to give me, because often I feel that I'm closing my channels (because I sometimes feel unworthy of His abundance or fear that it is not nice to ask for things that I want and need - even though the Torah encourages us to do just that and as much as possible). I prayed that He would just help me open my channels, so that things that He wants to give me will not be "spilled" out, but rather, that I would be able to receive them. I was praying silently, as I was walking on the street, just speaking to Him from my heart, not moving my lips. And then, a few minutes later, I received a phone call...
It was at 8:04 pm at night. A lady who is in charge of lecturers and speakers in an old-people's home called me. I sometimes give lectures there to the old people about Japan, about neuroscience, etc. I like giving talks and it helps me pay some of the rent. The talks I give are just once in a while, not often. I thought to myself that I wish it would have been on a regular, weekly basis. But - I couldn't imagine myself preparing a new lecture and a new PowerPoint presentation every week about these topics - it takes so much time to do it, and I don't think that it would be nice for me or for the audience to keep discussing these same topics again and again every week. This is why it had to stay just once in a while and not regularly. But - God's thoughts are bigger than mine. He has ideas that I couldn't come up with myself.
And so, the lady called me that night and asked me... if I could give a weekly class about the Bible to a group of English speaking ladies... Wow... now, this has taken me by surprise. At first I didn't know what to say. I've never thought of myself as a teacher of Bible. I live the Bible, and I write this blog, and I talk about faith and biblical topics with friends. I once even gave a talk about Judaism and Ecology in an ecumenical forum in the USA and some lectures about the prophecies to Norwegian groups, but I've never done a regular class about Biblical topics. I shared all of these feelings and thoughts with her, but she was not bothered by it, it seemed as if she believed in me more than I believed in my self. I asked her to stay with me on the line while I try to ponder this and make a decision. And then I decided to say YES, despite the fears and apprehensions. Once I said yes, it all became easy and clear to me - I knew exactly what I was going to do. I told her that it won't be simply 'Bible' studies, but it would be the weekly Torah portion, supplemented with parts of the Prophets and Scripture. She asked me if I can start the next day, Thursday... and again - despite the fears, I said yes.
I am very pleased with myself for saying yes, twice! The interesting thing is that I've wanted to give a class about the weekly Torah portion for a while now, but the community I live in is very religious - they don't need me necessarily to do that, they have their own Rabbis and Rebbetzins who do it for them, so I didn't ponder it any further. I was thinking of starting a Torah class on Zoom for friends who don't live here, but I was so busy, I didn't give it the time it deserves. But Hashem knows better. He just gave me this chance - and this in fact forced me to get down to it and start doing it! And He also provided the audience!
So, yesterday was my first formal Torah class. I was given a room with a long, rectangular table for the ladies to sit around. I prayed a lot before it, that it should be uplifting and inspiring and interesting for the ladies, and Hashem made it so! It was so enjoyable for all of us, and at the end, the ladies compared me to a Rabbi who goes there and teaches Torah on Shabbat, and without them saying anything non-positive about him, it was obvious that the comparison was in my favor. I was elated!! Now I know that I want to give such classes as much as possible, and talk much less about the secular topics that I used to give lectures on.
So, a new chapter has just started in my life, and I feel that this is the real thing! Preparing for this class is also very enjoyable and I learn a lot in the process. I am so grateful and thankful!
Shabbat shalom!
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