Failure?

Sometimes in life we take a right turn or a left turn, we make a decision and we start doing something, feeling that yes, this may be the right move for us. But then, at times, a failure may occur - something you were so sure of yourself about suddenly proves as the wrong move for you. You fail. 

In such cases, most people take the blame on themselves and some may even fall to depression. However, if you live with the knowledge that G-d is with you and that everything that happens to you is His will, you factor this fact in, and you realize that there's more to the picture than just the thought of 'I failed'. 

I remember times in my life where I was very joyously working in a certain place, sure that this was going to be forever, and then something happened that made me want to leave. And soon afterwards, something so much greater and better happened and I found myself in a job that is so much more like me, like my dreams, like what I've always striven to do. I realized looking back that if not for the unpleasant occurrence that made me want to leave, I would have stayed there forever, slowly stagnating and missing the true road of my life. 

I recently remembered other such situations - for example, how I left my previous apartment. If not for reality forcing me to make a decision and leave, I would have stayed there forever. And after I left, I realized Hashem had a new plan for me, a much bigger mission to accomplish in my new neighborhood. I thank Hashem so much for this. 

Today, as I was pondering these things somewhat sadly because of a new event that happened, which made me reconsider my last professional steps, I suddenly heard a commercial on YouTube, with a new song by Ariel Silber and Ido Levy, "זכרי שיש" - Remember that there is always Someone who watches over you, whatever road you take, you can always play your song. Tears welled in my eyes. Wow, what timing! What a timely message! I feel this has arrived as an embrace from HaShem, telling me, "I'm here with you, I see everything you go through, don't worry, you're not on your own in this". Baruch Hashem. 

I live my life in this world knowing that I'm not here for my own sake. I'm here as a servant of Hashem, and I want to be where He wants me to be, where He needs me to serve Him. I tell Him in my heart from time to time, 'I'm here for You. I myself am not important, unless as a servant of You. I want to serve you the best I can'. And it helps me take things in proportion - I'm not the center. Hashem is the center, and I revolve around Him. 

This life is short and temporary, but in it we are given our chance to do as much as we can to serve Him and to do good in His world. May we always merit to remember that and to do that.