Balak Portion

This week's Torah Portion is that of Balak (starting in Numbers 22: 2). It tells the story of Balak, King of Moab, who was afraid of the People of Israel and sends the non-Jewish prophet, Balaam, to CURSE the Israelite nation because of this fear! Balaam is considered to be an evil person in our tradition. And why is that? If you read the Portion superficially, he may appear a very good person, perhaps even righteous - he believes in G-d, and he constantly says that he will only say that which G-d will put in his mouth. So why do we view him as evil? Because he wasn't against this cursing - he didn't mind cursing Israel, it was OK with him to do it, and he even agreed to try again and again and again to change G-d's mind about it. But every time he was about to curse, G-d put blessings in his mouth instead, including the verse: Those who curse Israel will be cursed, and those who bless Israel will be blessed. Balak and Balaam tried three different times to curse Israel, but three different times G-d put blessings in Balaam's mouth. 

We learn from this a few things. One, the power of words is so great. Blessing or cursing people is not a mere useless speech. Our speech, according to Jewish tradition and Kabbalah (Jewish Mysticism) has power to create reality, to change reality, to build worlds, to destroy worlds. We have to be very minded of the way we use speech. When I was a little girl, I remember thinking to myself that perhaps each person can only say a fixed number of words in life, and if he talks too much and wastes his words, his life will be over sooner than it was supposed to. When I grew up, I found this idea in one of Shai Agnon's books, and it was nice to feel like someone else in this world had this idea too. I no longer think this way, but I am trying to always be very minded of the things I say, and I try not to say much and stay away from gossip and evil speech as much as I can. 

We also learn from this that G-d has His will, and even if it is not compatible with what we want, His will will prevail. I'm sure you have felt it in your life - that you seek G-d's guidance. In certain junctions in life you ask Him whether you should turn right or left. And the answer comes, in G-d's wonderful, mysterious ways - either through a clear feeling in our hearts, or a clear thought in our minds, through a line in a song that plays on the radio or a casual conversation taking place behind us on the bus. We get a clear answer, and we KNOW this is the answer. But if we don't like the answer - if we wanted a different answer, we ask G-d again, hoping He will change His mind and give us a different answer. But He doesn't. And we do this again and again, and He, with His endless patience, keeps sending us guidance, even though we try to have things our own way. 

I find it so strange that Moab, an established nation, was afraid of Israel - a small, physically week, peaceful nation - I remember many years ago, a very special meeting I had when I visited Seoul in South Korea for a couple of weeks. I was staying in a special guest house - the guest house was actually the real home of the landlady and manager. They had many rooms in the house and the guests slept in the rooms. During the day or in the evenings, the guests would meet with each other in the living room, and the landlady would cook and give food to everyone. I remember a few things from that time, but I'll focus here on the one that left a big impression on me. One day, I saw in the living room three men. From their appearance, it seemed like they came from a Muslim country, which of course, made me tense - how will they react when they'll here I'm from Israel. Will they be hostile to me? I tried to avoid them, but they turned to me, asked where I was from and we started talking. They were from Pakistan, and yes, at first they were cold and suspicious, but little by little they warmed up to me and I felt that eventually they even respected and liked me as a person. They asked me if everyone in Israel was like me. I took it to mean that they no longer felt any hostility towards me. Anyway, since it was in a time that was very hard for my country, with buses exploding and coffee shops and restaurants blowing up in the air, I told them frankly about how we feel, and the fact that we feel fear of the situation. I wasn't religious at that point, and I didn't know to look at the situation with a wider perspective like I do now, that even if we have rough time, we are moving forward to a future of redemption, a good future. I told them we feel that the whole Muslim world is against us, and (I'm ashamed now to admit that I said something like this to them!) - I told them we were afraid. When they heard that, they opened their eyes wide and looked at me with amazement. I felt like they were laughing in their hearts thinking something like: "What, are YOU afraid?!". You know, as non-religious as I was back then, I FELT there was an undertone, a subtext in their question, telling me something like 'how can YOU, with G-d behind you and at your side, be afraid of US?". I felt from the tone in their question that THEY were afraid of US, of that tiny nation that we are, a nation that just emerged from the holocaust not too long ago, and who returned to its country from a long, bitter exile everywhere. I was shocked at their reaction, and it is etched in my mind forever. Just like Balak, King of Moab, was afraid of the peaceful nation of nomads, former slaves, that we were, so the huge Muslim world is afraid of that same nation - and not because of our physical power, but because of the spiritual Power that stands behind us. I will never forget them, or the conversation we had. I know now that if that same conversation would have happened today, I would have never said to them something like 'we are afraid', simply because we, the believers, are not afraid. We see the bigger picture. 

My new neighbors next door, Ruth and Boaz, who came to Israel from America a few weeks ago, asked me where should they run if there is a missile attack on Jerusalem. I checked it for them and told them where the shelter is (in the basement of our building), but I also told them that it had never occurred to me to look for a shelter, not in this neighborhood, not in my former neighborhood. Last time there was a siren warning us of a missile attack in Jerusalem a few years ago, it was a Friday night, just before Shabbat, and I went to the synagogue like everyone else did. The siren was hauling outside, and we were peacefully praying inside, without any proper shelter other than our trust in G-d. 

Now that I wrote about that visit in Seoul, two more episodes cross my mind from that time. One, in the living room I met a young man from Germany. When he heard that I was from Israel he was SO nice, SO sweet, too nice, too sweet, too polite. He asked me out for coffee in the city, and I know that he wasn't asking ME out, he was asking the Jewish people out, to talk about what had happened in WWII. I didn't want to go, but didn't want to offend him, so I reluctantly said yes. And in the coffee shop he asked me: "Do all people in Israel think that all Germans are bad?". Straight to the point, just like that. Again, that was another conversation that I will probably not forget too quickly. It made me feel so uncomfortable. Do I know what every Israeli think? Most probably some think that, and others don't. I think most people don't think that. Yes, there is suspicion, and there will always be, probably, but whenever I myself feel suspicion when I meet some people from Germany, I try to remind myself of all the saintly Germans who saved Jews from the Nazis while risking their own lives. I'd rather look at every German and think that they would have chosen to be heroes, and not villains, during that war. It is not easy. I've met many people from Germany during my travels, and there is always a tension when they hear that I'm from Israel. They suddenly become very cautious and polite, like they're walking on eggshells. When I studied in Japan, the family of one of the German students in my dorms, a very sweet girl, came to visit her. They sat at the communal kitchen in my floor, and for some reason I went in to take something that I needed. She introduced me and said where I was from, and the moment she did, for some reason my eyes fell on her father's face. His face became pink, I felt the food he was eating was stuck in his throat, and I only wanted to run away from there, which I did, without being impolite. I don't know why he reacted like this. Was it guilt? Was it antisemitism? Was it that his parents or grandparents did something wrong during the war? Is is a simple prejudice? I don't know. But not with every German it is like this. With his daughter I always felt very comfortable. I've met many Germans with whom there was no problem, perhaps just a bit of a tension. One German girl that I traveled with told me bluntly one day that as a German, she's had enough of hearing about the Holocaust in her country, that they teach it to them too much in the school system, etc. I was shocked. Too much? Is there such a thing as 'too much' after their nation and culture brought about something so unimaginable? I don't think there is 'too much'. Her generation is innocent, for sure, but they are bred in the same culture that brought about Nazism and the Holocaust to the world. No one asks them to pay for their fathers' sins, of course, but the least they could do is accept the fact that they need to learn from it and study about it, and there is not 'too much' in this respect. 

One more thing I remember from that visit to Seoul was my friendship with the landlady of the guesthouse. She really liked me and kept in touch with me later as well, for a long time. She was so nice to me, spilled her heart to me, told me about her aches and pains, and was eager to hear everything that I had to say. I remember her very fondly, except for one incident that broke my heart. As I said, I wasn't religious at the time, but I grew up in a traditional home, and for me - eating shrimp, crabs and all those sea creatures was an absolute no-no, even then. I would never do something like this, even as a secular person. She promised me that the food she served me was 'kosher-style' - without things I'm not supposed to eat. She introduced Kimchi to me, a national dish of Korea, and I liked it. It was healthy and tasty. I thought it was 'kosher' until one day I returned to the guest house in the middle of the day, and saw her preparing Kimchi. She was scrubbing the cabbage leaves hard with shrimps... to give it a taste. When she realized that I saw her, her face 'fell'. She was so embarrassed and ashamed to be caught in a lie, and my heart was broken. How could anyone do something like this to anyone else? Even if you feel that the other person's habits and customs are strange and meaningless, don't promise them that you do everything to keep it, and then violate it without their knowing. When I lived in my previous neighborhood in Jerusalem, I used to host many Shabbat dinners. And some people were vegetarians or Vegans. Even though I myself am not, I was so meticulous to cook for them food that didn't even TOUCH chicken, fish or meat. 

Anyway, all these memories from Seoul all of a sudden. 

The Prophet Portion that we read this week is from Micah, 5:6 - 6:8. The first verse in this Portion has my name in it in Hebrew: "And the remnant of Jacob shall be in the midst of many nations as dew from the Lord, as showers upon the grass, that do not wait for anyone, nor are awaited at the hands of the sons of men". This verse says that when the people of Israel will be in exile, they will be like a gift from Heaven to those nations. They will be a blessing to those nations - but a blessing that the nations don't ask for, don't wait for, perhaps even don't want. And still, the blessing will be there. And when you think of all the blessing that the Jewish presence brought to the nations in which they were scattered, the blessings are so many; not just intellectual, cultural and economic blessings, but also - spiritual ones. Look around you in the world. All the nations which the Jewish people was scattered to - turned from being idol worshipers to being believers in the One G-d. Jews were exiled to Europe, and Europeans became Christians. Jews were exiled to the Middle East and Arab countries, and those nations turned into Muslims. Jews were NOT exiled to Japan, Papua New Guinea, India, etc., and in those countries - people remained idol worshipers. Now everything changes, and Christianity and Islam are growing in such countries as well, but for most of history, there was no awareness or worship of the One G-d in those areas. 

Anyway, the Prophet Portion ends with another verse that I like so much: "It has been told to you, Oh man, what is good, and what the Lord requires of you. Only to do justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your G-d." This verse is not directed only towards Israel. It is directed towards all the nations of the world. HaShem expects greatly of the nations of the world as well. He loves them too, He guides them too, and through our scriptures, He instructs them and brings them closer to Him. I like the universal aspects of the Torah and the Prophets. 

Shabbat in Jerusalem will start tonight at 7:12.
So I'll quit here to be able to prepare. 

Shabbat Shalom from Jerusalem!