Poland

The tour with the people from Poland was a huge success. Much better than I could have hoped for or imagined. First, 10 people came, all musicians who came to perform in Israel. I expected a small group of people, and then was surprised to see all this big group coming. In addition to them, there were my two Israeli friends who came, so I had to speak to 12 people. I think it's the biggest group (of adults) I've ever given a Jerusalem tour to. In the past I gave some tours to young Jewish boys and girls who were on a Zionist tour of Israel, but it was different, because it was structured and I wasn't free to do everything I wanted. This time it was adults, and non-Jews, and a tour of my own design, not something that was dictated to me by some organization.
I was afraid that my voice will not hold up to the mission, but we had a warm, gorgeous day, and I found myself speaking without any problem, and feeling warm. It was good, after the week of cold that I had experienced.
I started by asking for how many of them it was the first visit to Israel. Four people raised their hands, and the rest said that the previous times they visited, they only visited the Old City. We were going to tour the newer parts of the city, so it was great. I then told them: Welcome to Jerusalem, the place on which the hearts, eyes and minds of the whole world are focused, the city that lives in the heart of every human being, the city in which Kind Saul, King David and King Solomon lived and walked. The area we will walk on is the same area in which they walked before us, so we will walk in their footsteps. In addition, the ancient stones that you see everywhere have been in Jerusalem forever, and have witnessed a lot of the glorious history of this city and of this nation". I looked at my two secular Israeli friends, to see how they react, and was surprised that they were totally in this. They were not cynical and didn't try to shift the focus to other things. When we started walking, the leader of the Polish group, Aleksandra, came to me and told me that they are so happy that I'm their guide, and another member of the group told me that my words come straight from my heart, and therefore it goes straight to their hearts. It was a great start. We then discussed who are the Jewish People, what was our beginning, with Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Judah, etc. Luckily, one of their group was named Jakob, so he was our "Jacob" whenever we discussed our roots. I reminded them of the fight Jacob had with the angel and the ensuing change of his name to "Israel". We visited some shop, and I showed them the Mezuzah on the doorpost, and then discussed also the Tefillin. We talked about the Menorah (the one with 7 candles and the one with 9 candles of Hanukkah). We saw the difference between Arab and Jewish neighborhoods - and we discussed the Torah commandment to plant trees in Israel, which we follow, and therefore our neighborhoods have many trees and are very green. We talked about Oskar Schindler who is buried on Mt. Zion, not far from King David's grave. We talked about the face of Jerusalem - all the buildings are white and many are covered with the "Jerusalem stone", which gives the city its unique appearance. We talked about the amazing, incredible history of the Jewish People, the miraculous return after 2000 years, the miraculous survival for 2000 years in diaspora, without a common land or a common language. We talked about the fact that nothing like this has ever happened in the history of the nations and can never happen, that it is unique to the People of Israel and that you can see G-d's hand in this. We talked about our National Anthem, HaTikvah, which I played for them on a recorder. They then gave us a show - they sang one of their songs for us when we were in Yemin Moshe, to the delight of passers-by. We talked about Moses Montefiori and his contribution to the rebuilding of Israel. We also talked about the German Templars who wanted to revive the land and live in it, but had to leave when the British took power. We talked about the miracle of the land, that was in desolation for 2000 of years, and started blooming and giving its fruit to the People of Israel when they began to return. It was very moving and emotional and I felt very very high after that. It was hard to "land" back down. I felt that I wish I had more chances to do that. The two Israeli friends were cooperative. Some times one of them felt compelled to give their own take on things, but they didn't contradict what I said. Both of them later told me very warm words on how the tour was conducted. Such days make my life worth living. Days like today, however, are less so. I'm at home, working alone, feeling intense longing for home. Looking to the future and not knowing what it harbors in its wings. Looking back and wishing I had done things differently, wishing I could change the past, wishing I had known back then what I know now, wishing I had used my opportunities properly. I wish Hashem had built the world in such a way that each of us could go back and change the past (as long as we do not hurt others in the process). It would have been so wonderful. The world could be close to Eutopia then. Perhaps we could get 3 chances of going back, and we could do it when we're old enough to know which episode we want to change. I know which episode in my life I would go back to and change. After making such a change, we could get two more trips back, to other times in our lives, if we want, so that there are no regrets and no looking back, only looking forward.
Once in my life I had this wish come true. I was in a horrible, horrible situation, and I prayed with all my heart that this was not really my reality, that this was just a dream. Everything was so real, I couldn't imagine it was a dream, but after praying so hard, I woke up and found out it was, in fact, just a dream. I felt so relieved, and I truly felt as if I was given a chance to relive my life and choose differently. Now I want to have the same again - to wake up and find this was just a dream, and that I can still choose differently and build a different life for myself, the way I've always wanted it to be. Hashem, may this be just a dream, then? May I have what I want in my 'real' life? If I pray hard enough, will I wake up again? And then I think about all the meaningful things I do, all the things I've done - and I know this life was not in vain, I did do some things that makes this life worth living.
Tomorrow a non-Jewish friend of mine from abroad will come to spend some of the Shabbat with me. She's already had a full Shabbat with me once, in my old apartment, and it was beautiful, she so enjoyed it, so she asked to come again. She will be my first guest in this new apartment. In the old apartment I hosted quite a lot and enjoyed it very much. Here I haven't yet, because I don't feel like home here so much. We'll see how it goes. Perhaps starting to host here will change my feeling about the place. I have no complaints about it, it just doesn't feel like home and the neighborhood doesn't feel like mine - it's American and Haredi. I miss Rechavia, where you can find people like me as well.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the winter and may the final redemption come soon, so each of us will be in our proper place, with the people we belong with and not among strangers.
Shabbat shalom,
Revital

December

Sunday night, after a busy and fruitful day, I suddenly felt a shivering of cold, which was surprising. I went to bed within a few minutes, trembling from cold, covered myself with four blankets, but the shivering continued and grew worse. I turned on the heating next to my head, but I was still shivering. I spent the next few days in bed, under the covers, with the heating a bottle full of hot water in bed under the covers, dragging myself out just for the bare necessities such as going to the toilet or the kitchen to get myself something to eat. It's been tough. At first I thought to myself that at least I can rest in bed and have my mind free to go wherever I want, but it was not like that. My condition got worse and worse. When you feel so bad, your mind is nothing but free. It is tied down to your pain and discomfort and it cannot soar to higher places. It felt like my mind was working full-gas on neutral - a lot of mental energy expended on absolutely nothing. I don't even know what I was thinking about - nothing! Your mind is empty and just full of your suffering. You cannot even pray normally. It is not good to be sick and we should be very grateful for every day we get to spend in good health in this world. I wonder why this thing happened to me in this timing (every year it happens once or twice, but this time it was not fun at all) and I think - perhaps I wasn't grateful for being well. I've been around bed-ridden people quite a lot recently and I didn't stop even once to appreciate the fact that unlike their situation now, at least I'm free to walk, to come and go, to do what I want, to have the dignity to go to the bathroom by myself without waiting for a hospital nurse to take me, change me or clean me. When I'm writing this and thinking about these people at the hospital, I feel like crying. The loss of dignity is probably one of the hardest blows they experience. They need to go to the bathroom, but the staff is busy with dozens of other patients who need them, and when their turn finally comes, they sometimes can't do what they need to do in the bathroom, perhaps due to shame, stress, embarrassment, and the staff gets frustrated because they worked hard on this - they took them down from the bed, wheeled them over to the bathroom, helped them get ready - and all of this in vain, which means they'll have to do it again for them very soon and they are so so busy anyway. And the patients feel like little children who are being scolded and are dependent on other people's "permission" to do something so basic as to go to the toilet. Of course, they can always do it in their diaper, but for adults this is even more humiliating. I think that only now that I've been forced to be in bed for a few days, that I actually given it a thought and feel so grateful and appreciative that Baruch HaShem I'm not in this situation now, and I pray that I will never ever be. And that everyone should be healthy ASAP. I so appreciate the fact that a healthy body gives you so many advantages and saves you so many troubles. We should never ever take it for granted.
One more insight that is even more important - is that being in a pain-free body allows our mind to be free and this is something to be forever grateful for. I'm still in bed, still under the covers, but now at least I think I got to the point where I can 'enjoy' it. My brain is not on fire anymore, I don't feel cold anymore, I feel stronger and I feel I have more rest and peacefulness, I no longer suffer much. It's even pleasant, to lie in this warm bed (which finally feels warm after feeling cold for so many days), to listen on YouTube to the songs that I like, and feel like in a certain sense I have a weekend-like rest on a regular week-day. And the biggest plus - is the fact that I can write here, which I haven't done in a long long time.

The bed around me looks like an office, with two computers (I worked during that time, including some skype meetings...), cables, my phone, the hot bottle of water, and I'm ashamed to say - even plates of food... I just couldn't stay out of bed for more than a few seconds each time to be able to eat on a table like a normal person. I had to eat here. It's not pretty, but it doesn't bother me so much now. It will look clean and neat tomorrow, when this is all over and just before Shabbat. My neighbors next door wanted to pumper me with chicken broth, but I had everything I needed here, I only needed some quiet and time to heal.

My YouTube is playing songs by John Lennon now, nostalgic songs, and pictures of John and Yoko run in the background. When I grew up, and up until recently, I've always had this image that Yoko was not a good person. I don't know why. It's just a passive image that was formed in my mind and I'm sure that not only in mine, but I don't know the reason for it. It's an image of a tough, ruthless woman who knows what she wants and is willing to step over everyone on her path in order to get it. Is there even one ounce of truth in this? I don't know. I recently watched a movie about John and Yoko. I didn't get answers to this question - but what I did see is that she was her own character, she was her own individual self, she was special in her own way and truthful to her unique self, independent in her mind and thoughts, and in her ways, and this deserves my appreciation. She wasn't like everybody else. She was truly different. Crazily so, sometimes, but it does not detract from the charm of her true individuality. I think each and everyone of us should strive to be our own unique selves rather than fit ourselves forcefully into predetermined structures that society has prepared for us. It is so hard to be around people who are fake, who are willing to sell their soul just to fit in with everyone else, who do not have the courage to be who they are - and the world is FULL with such people, especially in recent generations, I don't know why. I sometimes find myself feeling pressure to do the same, to fit in forcefully on the expense of my own soul, but most of the time I manage to put that pressure away from me. Not easy, but must be done. 

Also, the love and emotional bond between her and John seems so real and pure to me, and even though both of them seem to be dreamers and completely misled in their political outlook at the world, there is something so touching about them, about their naive idealism (at least in theory, not sure how it came into expression in practice), about their free life style, and about their pure, deep love for each other. I will forever love them for this love. I think that one of the criteria to judge true love is by its durability, and it seems that theirs is the kind of love that lasts forever. Like in the world of computers, for people who love this way, their beloved is "1" whereas the rest of the world, no matter who they are, is "0", and not just for a few years - forever. It's been almost 40 years since he was murdered by a lunatic, and even though she was married before him, she never married after him and I'm sure it is not because she didn't have suitors, for certainly she had many men who were interested in her. It's touching, and it gives her a few more points in my eyes, that her heart stays faithful to someone she will never meet again in this world. She is an old lady now (86, who can believe it?), and they have one son who is around my age, a musician himself, with no children as far as I know, but each of them have children from previous marriages. Still, it's a shame that such a colossal love story leaves no enduring continuity in this world. They will meet again in the after-life, in a few years from now. 

There is a famous Israeli song that everyone knows, called Agadah Yapanit ("Japanese Fairytale"), that talks about exactly such a story: two loving swans float on a lake, and then a hunter shoots an arrow at one of them and kills it. I think it describes their story well. Gladly, unlike the surviving swan in the song, she didn't kill herself.

Tomorrow, a group of Israel-loving Christians from Poland, musicians, are coming to Jerusalem and I'm supposed to give them a tour of the city. I hope I'll be well by then. Two Israeli friends of mine will be there too, so in case I won't be able to make it, they can do the guiding themselves, but they are non-religious, with naive lefty ideas that are far disconnected from reality, and as often happens with such people, they like to blame everything on Israel. I don't want to let the group be guided by them and they themselves told me that they won't feel comfortable guiding the group on their own. So it seems that I'm needed there. One of them joined me on such a tour in the past and it was a delight. The dynamics between us worked so well, so I'm looking forward for another fun opportunity to talk about the glory of G-d, the majesty of Jerusalem and the great miracles that HaShem has done with us. 

Once in a while HaShem sends such opportunities my way. I sometimes think it's not enough and I wish I were doing it more, but on the other hand, at times when it's too close-together, I feel that I've had enough and need a break, so He knows the exact dosage that is right for me to keep doing this with excitement and passion. I wish I could do it abroad as well, talk about the incredible history of Israel and how one can see G-d's hand in our ancient as well as modern history, but I'm just one person and I can't be everywhere at the same time, and going abroad is such a hassle - booking flights, accommodations, trying to eat Kosher, explaining to everyone why you cannot eat this or that. It's tiring. Even though the last time I did it abroad, in Norway, one of the ladies who attended one of my talks told me that when she saw me "eating this way" (that is, hardly eating anything, only a few kosher things), she understood that the commandments are what has kept us as one nation throughout our history in exile, and that she understands now that we have our own ancient covenant with G-d with no need for any new one. She said she understood at that point that the Jews do not need Jesus (she herself believe in him), because HaShem has a different, unique plan for us. She then came to Israel with her two sons for a visit. It was refreshing to my ears to hear it from someone like her. (I heard something similar from two other people many years ago after they came to a holiday dinner at my old apartment. They said almost the exact same thing and they too are Christians.) So perhaps it was worth my trip. And then I heard two years later that one of the people that I admire and respect most from the people I know in Norway, a teacher, has given a lecture about... Israel and the fulfillment of the prophecies - exactly what I had talked about at an event that he and his wife hosted for me at their home. I was so moved to hear this and again, it made me feel that this journey was not in vain and that everything you do has a ripple effect that you are not always aware of. So - it seems that at least to go tomorrow to meet the people from Poland I must, even if I'm not a 100% well. It's my chance to sanctify G-d's name among the nations this week. 

Shabbat Shalom and be grateful for your health!

R.

Bereshit 5780 (Genesis 1:1 - 6:8)

The fall is here. The sun is no longer burning hot in the middle of the sky; it is soft, caressing, nourishing the soul. The kind of sun you enjoy with your heart and mind as well as with your body. Now, as I write these lines, I look up to the ceiling of my apartment, and through the windows in the ceiling I see the sky is grey. Some people become sad when the fall arrives, but to me it's such an auspicious time. It is the feeling of home, an invitation to stay indoors, reflect inwards, lie on the sofa, read a good, thought-provoking book with a good cup of tea in my hand. Nice, quiet classic or jazz music in the background are the perfect match for this picture. I had a chance to do just that yesterday. I sometimes feel guilty when I read literature that is secular, that is not Torah-related, but I find that when I do, I learn a lot about myself, about human-relations, about life and life-perception, and about G-d. Even non-religious authors have perception of the spiritual realm, and it is so interesting to find reference to this in their books. I don't indulge in prose books so often, but when I do, it's such a delight.
We've finished reading a whole one-year cycle of the Torah, and this coming Shabbat we will start reading the whole Torah (and parts of the Prophets as well) from the beginning again. I recently started reading a book about the Book of Genesis called "The Beginning of Wisdom", by Leon Kass. I try to read one chapter of it every Shabbat. The author is a "secular" professor in Chicago, but when you read his words, you see that he does have faith. Still, for religious people, some of his ideas are totally foreign, but in others you can find a lot of taste. We'll see if I can finish the book or not. I tried once and stopped, but I hope to be able to read it through this time.
WhatsApp is such an amazing application. It can literally change the world. I was slow to join it, refusing to be part of the social-media revolution, but I realize now it is such a potent tool - you can use it to do harm, or you can use it to do good in the world, and if you choose the latter, you can really transform the world and people's lives in it. It can be a convenient tool to care for the weak in society (posting messaged on their behalf asking for any kind of help, etc.), it can be a convenient tool for organizing charitable projects. It's really amazing.
One more use of it that I find blissful is the fact that you can get recordings of Torah classes. So as I do my morning walk, I listen these days to recorded classes about the whole Bible - all the Prophets, and Scriptures. It is so enriching, and I feel it clarifies things for me, historically and otherwise. I feel like I would like to listen to the whole series of classes, and when I'm done, to do it all over again, and again and again, until I remember everything that was said there. The Rabbi that sends these class recordings is teaching in a Yeshivah (Torah school) in the Golan, he is very educated and it is a delight listening to him. I feel like I know so much now about Ezekiel, Jeremiah and Hosea. The next book I'll start listening to next week is Joel (I joined the WhatsApp group after they finished Isaiah, but I will listen to it too sometime).
I'm delighted to say that I finished writing my first book. Well, not really a 'book', more like a 'booklet', but it has the blueprint in it for me to expand it into a full-length book sometime, if I wish to do so. It is an essay about Israel and the fulfillment of the prophecies in our times and through history. It is in Hebrew and meant for secular Israeli audience, mostly university students like I used to be. I hope to open their eyes to what I found out in my life, without them having to do all the world-wide journey that I did to find the truth. I felt an amazing back-wind when I did this, plus, it seems like a HUGE wave of return to G-d washes all over the country, even those who are born to secular families. It feels like in every family, G-d "planted" one person who returns to His Torah and affects the rest of the family in this direction. But a lot of effort is being done by people, and I feel compelled from within to do something like this too. It kind of burned inside me, and I finished writing it in two days. Now I just have to proof-read and design it, and then print it. I have to figure out how to do that so that it should look like a book and not like a bunch of A4 pages. We'll see.
I just heard on a radio show here that a few good months ago, the Israeli military Intelligence warned Australia of a planned terrorist attempt to bomb a passenger jet. Thanks to that warning, the Australians were able to arrest the terrorists before they boarded the plane. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks said something very true: Whatever curse the world throws at Israel, Israel finds a way of translating it into a blessing for the world. This is just one such example. Israel, who suffered great losses because of the curse of terrorism, is now a blessing to the world in that it helps the world protect itself against this very same curse. In this week's Portion, G-d promises Abraham that in him will all the nations of the world be blessed, and the same promise was given to Jacob as well later on. We merit to see in our days how these prophecies are being fulfilled.
In relation to what I wrote above, the Prophet portion (Haftorah) we read about the people of Israel this week is from Isaiah 42: "Thus saith God the LORD, He that created the heavens, and stretched them forth, He that spread forth the earth and that which cometh out of it, He that giveth breath unto the people upon it, and spirit to them that walk therein:I the LORD have called thee in righteousness, and have taken hold of thy hand, and kept thee, and set thee for a covenant of the people, for a light of the nations;To open the blind eyes, to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon, and them that sit in darkness out of the prison-house."

To open blind eyes I try.

Shabbat Shalom

Simchat Torah

It's been a while since I last wrote here. It's a pity, because there were so many things to write about - all the wonderful Portions of Deuteronomy, and now the High Holidays, etc. Every one of these things merits to have innumerable books written about, not to mention a short blog post. But I didn't find the motivation to do it. I often wonder how many people really read this, and if it has any effect in the world.
Jerusalem is such an exciting place to be in on any random day, but especially on the Holiday of Sukkot. Today is the last day of this holiday. I took my smartphone for a Sukkot shooting walk in my new neighborhood and the neighboring one. So many sukkot, it is so nice to see. Sukkot is also the holiday of the nations. When we had the Temple, our priests sacrificed a bull for every one of the nations of the world, praying for their peace and welfare. And the city is full of visitors from every country today, it is dazzling.
One of the most moving events that I merited to witness this holiday was the Singing of the Levites. Levites are Jews from the tribe of Levi, usually carrying the family name of Levi, Levin, Levinas, etc. They are direct descendants of the tribe of Levi, and their role in the Temple was to sing, to play trumpets, and to help the Kohanim (Cohen family, Jewish priests) in their work in the Temple. They were also assigned the job to teach Torah to each of the tribes of Israel, and therefore they had no piece of land for themselves, they were scattered among the tribes. When we (the tribes of Judea and Benjamin) were exiled, the Levis in these tribes were exiled with us. And when we returned to Israel after 2000 years, they returned with us. Last week, a big group of Levis, Levites, stood on the southern stairway of the Temple Mount and sang the Psalms there (including Psalm 122 that I love so much, and other Psalms of Ascension that the Levites used to sing in the old days), and also played the traditional trumpets - for the first time in 2000 years. It was SO moving, really incredible. We feel that our return to the Holy Temple and the full redemption are really near.
https://www.facebook.com/JewishInspiration5773/videos/521552461969847/
I feel privileged to be able to document these things and share them with you here.
Today is the last day of Sukkot. Tomorrow we will read in synagogues the last Portion of the Torah and finish the reading cycle of one year, and then immediately we will start reading the very first Portion of the Torah - from Genesis 1:1. This holiday is called Simchat Torah ("The Joy of Torah"), and in Leviticus 23 it is referred to as "The Eighth Day" of Sukkot. I remember this holiday as a child. I lived in a small community in the Northern Negev, called after Isaiah 35:7, and it was very new, there was no synagogue yet. One of the houses in the community was turned into a synagogue. I remember sitting on my father's wide shoulders, receiving the typical Simchat Torah flag and running around with all the other kids. All of us also received a special candy: an apple, coated with red sugar-candy. Because I didn't like apples (and also didn't like this kind of candies), I was always disappointed. I wish they had given us chocolates instead :-) Anyway, scrolls of Torah were taken out of the holy ark, and people were dancing with them, and we were kissing them. It is one of my childhood memories. A few years later there was already a big, beautiful synagogue in the community, even though it is a secular community.
       

I have very fond memories of Sukkot itself - my father sticking natural wood logs into pits he dug in the ground, and then we covered the four corners of the Sukkah with white bed-linen. The most fun part was making decorations for the Sukkah, and then sitting there and eating there. It was so special. Later, at the age of 12, when my mother was remarried and we moved to the city, there was no longer Sukkah. Secular people who live in the city do not bother building sukkahs. It is such a shame. Sukkah is such a family thing, it is a home.
Anyway, when we moved to the city, I lost my home a few times - the community grew and became much more bourgeois, the original population moved and different kinds of people moved in instead, my childhood friends moved out to different communities, etc. At least the kindergarten, school and little clinic stay the same :-)  It is located not far from Gaza, and when I was a child, my uncles used to have friends from Gaza and fix their cars there, there was no problem at all, it was peaceful and nice, but then incitement of the Arab leaders started a fire, and we know what the results of it are today. A pity. By the way, one of the largest families in Gaza is the Al-Masri family (meaning: "The Egyptian"). Most of them came to Israel from Egypt. And to think that in the past there used to be a thriving Jewish community in Gaza, this is unbelievable today, but it is true. Jews lived in Gaza. But now they can only die there. And in my old community, they sometimes get missiles from Gaza.

Anyway, I'm happy that I'm in Jerusalem now. I would not want to live in a remote community far from Jerusalem. I can't live without the air of Jerusalem, without the light of Jerusalem. And I feel that some of my missions in life are directly related to Jerusalem. So as long as I can, I want to live here. This is THE place, and the eyes of the whole world are on Jerusalem. The real drama of humanity and life is taking place here. Ever since I was a child I thought to myself that Jerusalem is the most beautiful place on earth. I was right.

Anyway, the holiday is just around the corner, and I have to start preparing.
Have a wonderful day, and write to me if you can.

Hag Sameach,
Revital

Nitzavim

This week I had the privilege of meeting one of the most influential people (actually THE most influential person) in Israel in terms of settling Judea and Samaria, Benny Katzover. A group of American tourists came to Israel, and the tour-organizer asked me to make contact with Benny and translate for the group. Benny meets groups for free, he does this for ideological reasons, not for money. He is religious, Zionist, and if not for him, perhaps Samaria would still have no Jewish communities today. I met the group and Benny in Elon Moreh, near the city of Shchem (Nablus), and it left me feeling so filled-up, it was such an amazing experience. It lasted one hour, but it felt too short. I felt like I could spend a whole day with this person. He speaks English well, but still prefers to speak Hebrew and be translated because it is easier for him to speak Hebrew.
Benny's wedding was the very first Jewish wedding in the city of Hebron after 2000 years. He later started the settlement movement in Samaria, as young man in his 20's. At those days he was anonymous and unknown, but he managed to meet with General Ariel Sharon, with Shim'on Peres and other influential figures who helped him in his endeavor. It is SO amazing to listen to him in that place, and I truly recommend to every person who is coming to Israel to visit that man and hear his story. He is really like a biblical figure, so devoted and so influential. Samaria is flourishing now and has so many Jewish communities and it is all thanks to his devotion.
The group was a Christian group and they were impressed with him so much. I want everyone to hear his story and the history of Samaria. The Israeli government was mostly against him and his group when they first started, but he kept fighting for this cause, settling Samaria again and again until the government gave up and allowed it. He really is like a modern-day King David. He showed us an area near Elon Moreh from which you can see three of the borders of the State of Israel, including the Gilad mountains in the east, the Mediterranean in the West, and Mt. Hermon in the north, all from one view point - on good visibility days.
Elon Moreh is right near Mt. Eival and Mt. Grizim, the mountains of blessing and curse. He told us how archaeologist Adam Zartal dug there and found a structure from the times of Joshua Bin Nun, that has no windows and no doors, and it has a ramp... that is, he found the altar on which the initiation ceremony of the Nation of Israel in Eretz Israel took place. There, he also found burnt ashes and bones of animals - a laboratory test revealed that all the bones are from Kosher animals, most of them males, and most of them one year old. These are the exact specifications for the whole-burnt offering (Korban Olah). Prof. Zartal also found seal stamps of the Pharaoh of the time of the exodus - there, near the altar! It was buried in a nicely dug pit - probably hidden there by the Jews who have just arrived from 40 years of wandering in the desert after leaving Egypt. It is so fascinating to listen to this. I feel like I should write about it more in length, but Shabbat is just around the corner.
Benny's main message was that a few major Jewish beginnings took place in Samaria, near the city of Shchem (Nablus) and this is why it is so important that we resettle that area of Israel. First, the promise of the Land to Abraham took place there. Second, when Jacob returned to Israel after running away from his brother Esau, he stopped there. Third, when the Jewish Nation returned to Israel after 40 years in the Sinai desert, they did the initiation ceremony there, on Mt. Eival and Mt. Grizim. I don't remember the other points, but they were as impressive. In short, we have all the right in the world to reclaim our land. The tour guide showed me a picture of Nablus from 100 years ago. It was a tiny Arab village with very few houses, nothing like the huge sprawling city that it is today. Where did all these people come from? It is not thanks to birth, because if that was the case, Nablus should have been a huge city long ago. It is due to immigration. When we Jews started returning to the Land of Israel, Arabs from nearby countries came in to be employed in agriculture and other areas. Most of the Arabs living in Israel today are the descendants of those immigrants, not of the few native Arabs who lived here before we started returning. Anyway, it doesn't matter, G-d has a plan, and it will be fulfilled, this way or the other. We have to do good and watch Him do good.

I'll try to write more perhaps after Shabbat.

Ki Tetze / Isaiah

Elections (again... unbelievable...) is on this coming Tuesday, and everyone seems to be sleepy and indifferent, there's a lot less 'noise' than there was in the last elections, just a few months ago. I'm going to vote the same way - to the National Religious party: those who will not give up even one small part of our G-d given Land, and those who will make room for the Torah in our secular way of life.
Our prime minister, Netanyahu, disappoints me a lot recently, sometimes even angers me, but I do not think there is anyone else who can head the government at this time. I guess he will be elected for one more term, until a new leader will emerge. Hopefully THE leader, if you know what I mean. As Shabbat was over and I turned the radio on to hear some news, I heard that Netanyahu got a 'promise' from US president Trump to "grant Israel a defense treaty". What? Really? Is this what we need? This is so infuriating. In Hebrew it sounds even worse: ברית הגנה ("brit haganah", translated loosely as a "covenant of protection") - the only brit (covenant) we have is with G-d. The only protection we have is G-d's. There is no other covenant, and no other protection. Talking and thinking and seeking a covenant of protection from human beings is such an affront to G-d. It shows weakness of character and weakness of faith. And such a treaty, if signed, is going to tie our hands. We will have to get America's approval for every military operation we will do. Remember Operation Opera (Operation Babylon) in 1981, when Israel attacked the nuclear reactors in Iraq? This was such an important operation, and it took the whole world by surprise, but now - if the "defense treaty" is signed, we will not be able to do something like this if there is a need - we will have to ask permission from Trump to do it! Remember Operation Entebbe, in which Israeli soldiers (including Yoni Netanyahu, Bibi's older brother) flew to Uganda, to liberate Israeli and Jewish hostages who were kidnapped by terrorists on an airplane? If the need arises to have such an operation today, we will have to ask for the USA's permission! Remember the Sabena Flight 571, that was supposed to go to Israel but the plain was hijacked? Israeli soldiers (including Bibi himself!) went there to liberate the hostages. In such operations, every second of delay is fateful and can ruin everything - and now we'll have to ask permission from the USA? For what? What will we get in return - "protection"? Thanks, but we're not interested. We need protection from the ONE and only power who rules the world. Not from humans like us. I hope that such a defense treaty will not be signed. We have survived miraculously without it so far, we will prosper forever - without it. This Shabbat we read in synagogue from the book of Isaiah, and it is so relevant in this regard: "For the mountains may depart, and the hills be removed; but My kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall My covenant of peace be removed, saith the LORD that hath compassion on thee."

Think about it. There's a lot more to say, perhaps I'll write another post soon.
In the meantime,
Shavua tov (have a good week),
R.

Shoftim / Isaiah

I wanted to go to the hospital today, to play some music to patients before Shabbat, but I didn't plan my time well and figured out that I won't have time to do so and come back in time to prepare for Shabbat. I'm reading a lot of professional materials recently in my field, and I give it top priority at the moment, and this may be the reason. But I did have a few chances to play music to patients recently, and it is always sweet. People's reactions are so nice. In one of the wards, two young Arab nurses, a man and a woman, stopped everything and asked to film me on their smartphones. Of course, I said no. I hate to be photographed or filmed. So they recorded anyway, just without me in the frame, which was OK with me. The male nurse followed me from room to room with wide opened eyes and a big smile on his face. It made me feel like this was not a waste of my time, like people were enjoying it and appreciating it.
One day I got to the hospital exactly as the doctors were changing shifts. They were going from room to room and the head doctor was briefing the new shift about each of the patients. I was always one room behind them, playing to patients they had already reviewed. Then, as I was leaving one of the rooms, the head doctor approached me in front of the whole group of doctors, and told me that he liked this and that he thought it was a good idea, but that I should also play music that is suitable to "other" cultures (he meant Arabs). I play music that I know - mostly Israeli and American songs, some religious Jewish songs as well, but I'm not familiar with Arab music. There are many Arab patients in the hospital, and I usually play to them melodies without words, like the 'The Lonely Shepherd', and they love it. I had tried to listen to Arab songs, so that I could play their music for them, but I do not have the 'ears' for such music. Arab music is so hard for me to understand and grasp, so even when I'm trying to listen to it, I cannot reproduce it. The scales are so different than the ones I'm used to thinking of as understandable music, they have many half tones and quarters of tones, and it is something that I have no idea how to play - not even how to hum... In addition, the songs are normally very, very long, and I can't recognize the musical themes in them, it sounds almost random. What can I do? I'm giving up. I'll play the Lonely Shepherd and they'll have to be happy with it. Usually they are. Before I play, I always ask: 'Can I play something for you?' One Arab man was almost offended, and said that they are not goats, and therefore there is no reason to play to them with a recorder... OK, whatever... But most of them are very receptive and grateful.
Another subgroup at the hospital is Haredi people who want to hear Yiddish songs, Hasidic songs, etc. I'm clueless when it comes to such songs. I'm trying to listen to Hasidic music, but again - this is not my type of music. When I just moved to my new neighborhood, I teamed up with two more musicians to play at the hospital (I wrote about it a few months ago). But after an amazing first time with them and a couple more lukewarm ones in which they played mostly Hasidic music that I am not familiar with, I decided to leave them, and go solo. They were sorry that it happened, and urged me to stay, but I didn't find meaning in doing this with them. Two weeks ago I went to the hospital on a Friday to play at the hospice - the last stop for patients who suffer from cancer. A few minutes later came a group of Haredi musicians and played. I joined them and we played amazingly well together. It was so much fun, really. There was a guitarist, a drummer, a clarinet player (I don't like when they have clarinets - you cannot hear the recorder when they play!), and a singer. It was beautiful. I'll try to join them again next week. They were familiar with the kind of music I know, so there was no problem in this respect.
This week, one evening in the middle of the week, I went to play to one particular patient at the hospice - Ariella, a woman who is probably around 60 or 70 years old. The reason why I go specifically to her, is that on the last times that I went to the hospice to play, she was the one most responsive, and kept asking me for more and more songs, doing movements of a conductor with her hand as I was playing. So I went there this week. The nurse told me that Ariella had been asleep all day, and they couldn't wake her up no matter what. The nurses tried, her husband tried, they tried with different ways, but she didn't wake up. She just warned me so I would not be upset or disappointed. But I went into that patient's room and started playing. She woke up. She looked at me and recognized me, which made me happy, but she looked awful. She is SO thin, she looks more like a skeleton than anything else. Her facial bones stick out, her teeth stick out, her lips are fallen down, her skin is so tight around her face that you feel like you look at a skull. She looked really bad, but when the music started, she lifted her hand and again played the conductor and then with her blurry speech she said that it was wonderful. She kept asking me for more and more songs. I played some Beatles, some Simon and Garfunkel, some Back, some Israeli songs, some Jewish songs. She gave me her hand to shake. I took it. It was warm, and well taken care of - nice nails painted red. I thought of the differences - here is an older dying lady, all skin and bones, and her hands are so warm and nice looking, whereas me - without any good excuse - My hands are cold or just not warm most of the time, and never, not even once, do I paint my nails. Not planning to, either. It's so not me! I did manage to stop biting at my nails recently, and I even had long nails for a period of few weeks, until I've had enough of it, it's so uncomfortable!  I felt appreciation of her, for taking care of herself even in her last days of life, even when the rest of her body looks terribly sick.
I want this idea - of people playing and/or singing to sick patients at hospitals - to become a world-wide thing. My dream is that in every country, people who can play an instrument will go and give some good time to patients. This is why I write about it. I want this to become a model for others to emulate in their own countries. We can definitely make this world a better place when doing this - and we don't have to be professional musicians for it. I'm not, and neither are any of the other volunteers. We're all amateur people who want to bring a bit more joy to a corner of the world in which people suffer.
I'm not in the mood of writing so much recently, so I'll just end this with a verse from the Prophet Portion that we read this Shabbat in synagogues (Isaiah 51: 1-3):

"“Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness
    and who seek the Lord:
Look to the rock from which you were cut
    and to the quarry from which you were hewn;
2 look to Abraham, your father,
    and to Sarah, who gave you birth.
When I called him he was only one man,
    and I blessed him and made him many.
3 The Lord will surely comfort Zion
    and will look with compassion on all her ruins;
he will make her deserts like Eden,
    her wastelands like the garden of the Lord.
Joy and gladness will be found in her,    thanksgiving and the sound of singing."


Shabbat Shalom,
R.

Devarim Portion

In my professional field of psychology and neuroscience, as well as in so many other fields in the history of mankind, there has been a debate between those researchers and philosophers who think that there is no soul - that we are just body and that our brain is just a machine, and those who think that there is a duality between mind/soul and body, which, in this perspective, are two separate entities. As someone who have faith, I KNOW that there is soul, and that it is separate from the body. The body is just a vessel that carries the soul and allows it to materialize in this world. The soul affects the body, there is a lot of mutual influence between the body and the mind, but at the end of the day (at the end of this life), the body goes back to the earth, and the soul goes up to the next world, to heaven. Some researchers from the first school of thought (those who think that there is only body and nothing else) give as support for their world view the fact that if for whatever reason there is damage to some parts of the brain, a man's whole personality can change. There is the famous story of Phineas Gage, a young man who was very sweet, kind, nice. Then, one day he had an accident, and the frontal lobes of his brain (the part that is responsible for all the 'higher', human faculties like morality, decision making, etc.) was damaged. Since that day he changed completely, and became a difficult person, with lots of social, moral and emotional issues, like a completely different person. This, the researchers say, is one proof that there is no soul - you damage the brain, and the person changes completely in the most human aspects of his existence. 

Of course, to me this is no proof at all. I like to liken the brain to a radio receiver, and the soul to the radio announcer. If your radio set falls and gets broken, there might be problems in hearing radio programs. Does that mean that the man who broadcasts the radio program is damaged too? If you can't hear him well because the radio is broken - does it mean that he is not there, or that there is something wrong with him? And if the radio set is ruined completely, does it mean that the radio announcer no longer exists? Nope. But sadly, I know personally very successful scientists who truly believe that the body, the brain (the radio set) is all that there is, and that when the body dies, that's the end of everything. Of course, gladly, I know researchers and scientists who don't think so. 

A couple of weeks ago I had an experience that made me think again about this topic. It was on a Shabbat. I was visiting a very sick lady, who has diabetes (horrible disease - do everything in your power to preserve your health and not to develop this disease!) and other horrible problems. One of her legs is amputated, and she suffers pains of all kinds. One of the pains she suffers from is called "phantom pain" (neuropathic pain). The leg that is no longer there - hurts her, but there is nothing she can do about it, because there is no leg, it is all in her brain! I've visited her a few times, and one of the times I saw how, just before the pain started, the stem of her amputated leg was shaking uncontrollably, and then she would scream in pain - pain in the phantom leg, the leg that is no longer there. It was very hard for me to see this - to see her pain and suffering, to see her helplessness, to see how her body (she's a beautiful woman, even in her older age) is not whole. The first time I saw this, I felt a wave of nausea, the world started turning around me, and I thought I was going to faint. Gladly, I managed to stabilize myself by breathing, sitting, etc. The next time I visited her, I felt like this again - a feeling that my mind (and body!) cannot contain this. And then the next time that I visited her, this feeling was very strong. She had tubes connected to her arm, and she was scratching, and her arm was wounded because of the scratches. She couldn't hear much, but she talked. She told me things that were very personal and deep, lamenting the fact that her life as she knew it was basically over, that just five years earlier she was young and beautiful (she still is beautiful, but I don't think it matters to her now), that her life is in shambles, etc. I sang to her some Shabbat songs, some Jerusalem songs - very soothing songs - she could hear the singing, which was strange, because she couldn't hear the talking. She was so grateful to be sang to. She said she feels as if an angel is singing to her. And then, the familiar feeling came back. It started with the world getting dark in front of my eyes, and a feeling of nausea swelling up within me, a huge wave of heat that I wasn't familiar with washed all over me and I was sweating like I never do. I tried to breath, to stabilize myself, to take my mind off her pain to other places, but I couldn't. I felt a huge wave of heat in my chest, and I felt that LITERALLY my soul was trying to leave my body. I felt a huge pressure in my chest, and it was very painful, and it truly felt as if my soul was trying HARD to get out of my body, to leave, to escape that painful scene. My body resisted, I felt the battle between body and soul, as if the soul says: 'let me go!', and the body says: 'not now, not yet!'. That was such a strange feeling. My body was so strong in resisting! I've never ever felt the separate existence of body and soul in such a tangible way. Never. The body won - I'm still here to write about it, but truthfully, I think it ended with a temporary compromise. Because a few moments later, I opened my eyes and found myself on the floor, three nurses looking at me with worried looks and kind, soft smiles. 'What happened?', they asked. 'Were you hurt?'. When I realized that I fainted, I was quick to try to get up on my feet again and to brush this off as nothing. I told them that everything is OK, that I just feel weak. They didn't let me get up. They insisted that I sit and recover completely, and gave me water. When they realized that what caused the fainting was my reaction to the pain of the woman in the bed, they escorted me out of the room. One of the nurses told me that she saw me as it was happening and rushed to me, and therefore managed to catch me in time, to catch my head, before I hit the floor. I was so grateful. Another nurse, an Arab man, asked me again and again: Are you sure nothing hurts? You weren't hit by the floor? Nothing was hurting, thank G-d. They took me out to sit on a chair outside of her room, but I could still hear her cries of anguish from there as well, and a wave of tears welled up inside of me and - how embarrassing - washed my face. I was sitting there, drinking the water that they gave me, hiding my face with my arm, and crying quietly, trying hard to let no one notice. The wave of emotions was so powerful, I just couldn't contain it. After some ten minutes, I was back to myself. I went back to the room (with the Arab nurse with me this time), and said goodbye to the woman. She made an unhappy face, because the visit was too short. I really want to visit her, but I don't think it's a good idea, since every time I see her I feel like I'm going to lose consciousness. I'm thinking that perhaps I can go for only ten minutes or so, and when I feel that I'm going to faint, I can leave immediately, and not try to stabilize myself. Anyway, this whole episode demonstrated to me even more tangibly than ever before - that body and soul are not the same entity, and that the soul, most probably, resides in the heart - in the chest area - and not in the brain, as I felt it trying to leave from the chest area. 

It reminds me of something that I heard a few years ago from Yossi Sarid (a super leftist Israeli politician, very secular, an intellectual, who - despite his political opinions - was a good man). He died a few years ago, but years before he died, he experienced clinical death, and told about it in the radio as a by the way story, even though he knew that it might risk his reputation as a rational man. It started with the same experience I had - a huge pressure and heat wave in the chest area, a feeling that the soul wants to leave, but in his case - it managed to leave the body! He died a clinical death, but his soul was present there, hovering above the scene, and saw everything that was happening from above. It happened to him in a car, when his wife was driving and the kids were in the back. They all panicked and started crying. He saw the medical team at the hospital taking care of his body, etc. And he started to feel how his soul is leaving this world - this world started looking very small - until he was so high - and then the doctors managed to bring him back. To hear something like this from a super secular, lefty, rational person - is something to remember. And he is known as a very very honest person. No corruption was ever found with him, which is rare in politics. And he had nothing to gain from telling this story - he could only lose: his reputation, his respect in the eyes of people, his electoral power, etc. So I believe him. Anyway, experiencing what I had experienced during my last visit to the hospital, I got yet another evidence that it was true.

This week's Portion, Devarim, starts a whole new book in the Torah: the fifth book of Moses. This whole book is a goodbye speech that Moses give the People of Israel, shortly before they enter the Holy Land. In this very long, powerful speech, Moses reminds the people of the things that happened in their journey in the desert - the good, and the bad. His purpose is to remind the people not of the events themselves, but rather the moral lesson to be gleaned from them. Moses will not be with the Israelites when they enter the Land of Israel. They will not have them to rebuke them and bring them back to the right way, to the good way, and he tries his best to teach them - to be good even when he is not around them. It is a little bit like a father with children. The father's goal is to make sure that his children behave well not only when he is around, but especially when he is not around. 

The Prophet Portion (Haftorah) that we read this week is from Isaiah 1: 1-27, in which the prophet Isaiah rebukes the nation for not behaving according to the values of the Torah. But even within this text, G-d says a few very hopeful, beautiful words: "Wash you, make you clean, put away the evil of your doings from before Mine eyes, cease to do evil;  Learn to do well; seek justice, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow. Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD; though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.  If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land; But if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword; for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken." In these few words, as well as in many other places in the Bible, G-d gives us a free choice - to choose between good and evil, and promises reward for those who choose good. Even more important than this, He gives us the ability to REPENT - not only to say we are sorry for our bad deeds, but to actually change our ways and be better - and then He promises to forgive us. No need for blood, no need for sacrifices ("To what purpose is the multitude of your sacrifices unto Me? saith the LORD; I am full of the burnt-offerings of rams, and the fat of fed beasts; and I delight not in the blood of bullocks, or of lambs, or of he-goats.") In order to be forgiven we don't need blood to atone for us - we only have to purify ourselves and change our ways for the better, and He will forgive us.  

Shabbat shalom!

Mas'ei Portion

This week's Torah Portion is that of Mas'ei (journeys of Israel). In it, the Torah details the 42 journeys of the Israelites in the desert. It is funny, because this Portion is the one Portion I think of almost everyday. The reason for it is that many streets in the area where I live are named after these journeys - the places where Israel stopped before they continued on their journeys. Places like Di-Zahav, Etzion Gaver, Yam Suf, Paran - are all stops on the way of the Israelites in the desert, but are also landmarks in my daily walks. It is so nice to be living in an area in which all the stops of the Israelites in the desert appear on street signs. It really connects one to the Torah, and to our national history. Many commentators find deep meanings in the names of those stops - and it's beautiful to read. But the most important question is: Why does the Torah detail all the stops that the Israelites do in the desert? After all, we have already read about them in previous chapters.
The Ramban (a famous Torah commentator, and generally my favorite one of all) said that it was simply to emphasize the length of the journey in the desert. People think that it is a short distance between Egypt and Israel. They are right. But it isn't short if, instead of going in a straight line, you have to zig-zag from point A to point B to point C in a very interesting non-straight line, and stay a while in each stop.

Since they were leaving places and staying in places by G-d's sign - I think that it emphasizes the fact that G-d was constantly with them, guiding them, even when they got to places in which they did horrible things - He kept guiding them and supporting them, like He does with each of us. In our lives as well, G-d shows us the way, guides us, shows us where to go and what to do. The problem is that most of us don't see and don't understand G-d's 'language', His 'signs'. I remember times in my life that I felt that He was guiding me, but it was such an irrational feeling, something that the secular world in which I lived never talked about or recognized, that I ignored it, very sadly. I often wish I could go back and follow G-d's guidance in the most critical years of my life. Everything would have been much better then. But I try to do it now, as much as I can, and I feel so awed when I feel that I'm guided - it is such an amazing feeling that this human being who is me, housed in a body of flesh and blood - is helped by the Eternal One up high. It is humbling. Anyway, the good news is that He is with us. And eventually, He would lead us, and all of humanity, to Redemption.
This week on Thursday was the passing date of a very special, holy and important person whom I would always admire - Chiune Sugihara - a Japanese diplomat who saved thousand of Jews in WWII. He sent them on a journey to life, and paid a dear price for it - but I'm sure he will be rewarded eternally for his heroism and righteousness. It is so nice to know that there are such good people in the world. He passed away on July 31st, 1986. Like him there are a few other diplomats who helped Jews and I feel a debt of gratitude to each of them, and to G-d for placing them there at such a time.
July 31st is also meaningful to me because a terrorist went into the Hebrew University on Mt. Scopus and bombed the Frank Sinatra cafeteria during rush hour there. Nine people were killed there, some students, some university workers. It is so sad. Near this place there is a monument today - a tree that is planted in what looks like a huge pot, but the pot looks as if it has fallen. Yet, the tree still grows and strives upward. It is very symbolic - despite the loss and tragedy, despite the evil - life goes on and strives upwards.
This is going to be short today. So much more to write, but Shabbat is just around the corner, and I have to get ready.

Shabbat Shalom!

Matot Portion

Two weeks ago I wrote about the gentile prophet Balaam. I said that we perceive him to be an evil person, but I'm sure that some people can disagree with this and claim that he was actually righteous, because he believed in G-d, and he constantly and repeatedly told King Balak of Moab that he would only say that which G-d puts in his mouth. So far so good - wonderful. But really, if you give this whole episode another look, you realize that something is very wrong with this picture. King Balak wanted to curse the People of Israel to bring a calamity, a disaster upon them. This is a horrible thing. And he tried to get prophet Balaam to help with it - so that he would curse them for him. Balaam should have said right then and there: No! I cannot do so. They didn't do anything to harm you to deserve this. But instead he said: OK, but let me ask G-d first. Can you imagine? If someone would have told you to kill an innocent person - instead of saying 'no', you would ask G-d for permission to do it, and not just once? Again and again and again? To defend Balaam, you can say that he knew G-d wouldn't allow this. If this is the case, then why did he ask Him in the first place, and so many times at that? You can also claim that he didn't have any choice. The mighty King Balak asked him to do it, and it was dangerous for him to disobey him. Wrong again! In the end, when Balaam blessed Israel instead of cursing them, King Balak was not happy, but there was no punishment or revenge to Balaam. They parted peacefully. Balak was king of Moab, and Balaam was from another nation, Midian. So no excuses for Balaam. But if you needed more proof than that to indict Balaam, it comes in this week's Portion.

Do you remember that last week I wrote here that the women of Midian seduced the Israelite men to sin with them, and while doing so - to worship their idol, Peor? This caused thousands and thousands of Israelites to die in a plague, until Pinchas did what he did and stopped the plague. How is this episode related to anything? In this week's Torah Portion we hear that the scheme to make the Israeilte men sin with the Midianite women so that G-d would be angry with us, and punish us as a result - this evil advice came from... Balaam!!! In this week's Torah Portion, in Numbers 32:16, Moses tells the People of Israel about the Midianite women: "Behold, these women caused the children of Israel, through the counsel of Balaam, to revolt so as to be unfaithful to G-d in the Peor incident, so that a plague struck G-d's people". Peor was the Midianite "god", their idol. Do you need any more evidence that Balaam was truly an antisemite who hated G-d's people and wanted to cause them harm? 

The fact that Balaam talked about G-d doesn't make him a righteous person. Senior Nazi officials were talking about G-d all the time. Hitler in his infamous book, "Mein Kamph", talked about G-d quite a lot. In fact, he saw himself as a messenger of G-d to eradicate the inferior parts of humanity (in his view). He said things like: "I believe today that my conduct is in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator". "Even today I am not ashamed to say that I fell down on my knees and thanked Heaven from an overflowing heart for granting me the good fortune of being permitted to live at this time". "Anyone who dared to lay hands on the highest image of the Lord commits sacrilege against the benevolent Creator of this miracle and contributes to the expulsion from paradise." In Israel we cannot get our hands on this book - it is forbidden to sell, and I believe it is a respectful gesture for the millions, Jews and non-Jews, who lost their lives due to his distorted worldview. But I read the first volume of the book "The Rise and Fall of the 3rd Reich" and it was abundant with quotes like this from that book. 

Adolf Eichmann also talked about G-d in his trial. I was shocked to read it. How can they be so evil and at the same time talk about G-d? Do they think G-d likes their ways? They committed the most horrendous crimes humanity has ever known, and they talked about G-d in the process of doing so. When I think of this, verses from Psalm 50 come to my mind: "But to the evil person G-d says: 'What right have you to recite my laws or take my covenant on your lips? You hate my instruction and cast my words behind you. When you see a thief, you join with him. You throw in your lot with adulterers. You use your mouth for evil and harness your tongue to deceit. You sit and testify against your brother and slander your own mother's son. When you did these things, and I kept silent, you thought I was exactly like you. But I now charge you and set my accusations before you." 

The moral of all of this is that people can seem very religious and G-d loving, and talk so much about G-d, but their hearts are not upright and clean. And Balaam was exactly such a person. I'm constantly checking myself to make sure that I don't only talk about this, but actually be this - the cleanest I can be. Not easy, but this is our life's task, to take the weeds out and leave the blossoming flowers in. 

I think of a person who is the exact opposite to that of Balaam: Rabbi Yitzchak HaLevi Herzog, who passed away 60 years ago, and did everything in his power to fulfill G-d's will and help the Jewish people. His Jahrzeit was just recently. He was the first Chief Rabbi of Ireland. When the British published their White Paper (a resolution to limit the number of Jews who can immigrate to Israel), he tore it apart and said: "We cannot agree to the White Paper. Just as the prophets did before me, I hereby rip it in two". During WWII, he went to the USA to meet with President Roosevelt and ask him to help the Jews of Europe. He didn't get help from Roosevelt, and was heavily sorry and disappointed. Some people who were there say that his hair turned white as he was leaving the meeting. It shows just how deeply he cared. After the war, Rabbi Herzog went to Europe and together with many other people from Israel tried to bring Jewish children who were hidden in monasteries and local families back to their nation. In some of the monasteries, they met with resistance from the monks and catholic priests who didn't want them to take the children back and didn't tell them who of the children was Jewish. But the Israeli people were very clever. When they got to the monasteries, they cried in Hebrew "Shema Israel..." ("Hear, oh, Israel..."), and suddenly, from all the many orphans present, a few children closed their eyes by putting their fingers on their eyes, and completed the verse aloud "HaShem Elokeinu, HaShem Echad" ("G-d is our L-rd, G-d is One!"). It was almost like a secret password, a Shiboleth, that runs through the Jewish People for generations since time immemorial, and unites us all in one unbreakable chain. This is how they identified the Jewish children and took them back to their nation, to their homeland, to their religion. There were some righteous gentiles who helped the process and did everything they could to help find the kids and return them to their people. Their purpose was to build, whereas Balaam's purpose was to destroy. May we always merit to be among the builders and not among the destroyers, among the Herzogs, and not among the Balaams. 

There is much more to say, we'll leave it to other times. 

Shabbat Shalom U'Mevorach!

R. 

Pinchas Portion

Tomorrow will be the 50th anniversary of "This is one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" - the landing and walking of the first man on the moon. What an amazing achievement, something that is so hard to imagine. Until this very day it is simply unbelievable to think that human beings flew to outer space, to discover parts of the universe outside of our planet. How did they do it? How is it possible for a human to do that? It is so amazing.
I sometimes think of the fact that our planet, a huge, immense, indescribably heavy body of material, is floating in space... can you imagine? It sounds so so unbelievable, so hard to grasp! This planet that weighs who knows how much, floats in the space, and does it in a fixed orbit... and not only that, it also turns around itself while doing so. If anyone would have told me that a thousand years ago, I would have burst out laughing. What? No way! Not in a million years! But... it is true. The pictures from outer space show it. And sometimes, when I need perspective on things, when things weigh me down and I need to put things in perspective, I think about this. I realize that we live in a mysterious universe, created by a really, truly omnipotent G-d, who can make huge planets float in space without falling, without crashing, without deviating from their orbit. A G-d that created not just this planet but all the endless number of other planets and stars. A G-d that created our planet with the perfect conditions to sustain life, all kinds of different forms of life, in a perfect way. If our planet would have moved a little too close to the sun, everything here would have burned and died. If it were moving a little too far from the sun, everything here would have been dark and cold. When you look around and see all the myriad forms of life - all the different types of plants and animals: sea creatures, reptiles, mammals, birds, butterflies, etc, you can't help gasping in awe. So much creativity, so much beauty and wisdom and perfection! And when you look inside one species, no one specimen is identical to the next. Think of us, humans. Our faces are so different from each other's. Even identical twins can be told apart by their relatives. We each have our unique finger prints. We each have our unique DNA. Each of us has a different voice, by which we can be recognized. Have you thought once that it is so incredible that there are SO MANY different kinds of human voices in this world? And you can tell by someone's voice so many things about them: their gender, their age (more or less), their current mood, their intentions. And it is not just within one generation. I would doubt that any time in History there was someone with exactly the same voice like mine, or who looked exactly like me, who had the exact DNA that I have. Isn't it amazing? So much creativity - endless! So much wisdom - unfathomable, and endless! How could anyone look at the world, live in this world, and not recognize that there is a Creator to all of this wonderful universe? So in relation to these thoughts, I'd like to share the following:
It is so interesting to see how things happen. I recently felt a deep desire to go deeper in my Torah learning, to penetrate some more mystical layers of commentary and wisdom. I felt a desire to read the book of Zohar, which is an ancient Torah commentary, that reveals a lot of deep secrets about this world and its reality, based on the different layers of the Torah texts. So inside of me I felt like I wish I could learn the Zohar, and then a couple of days later, when I went into my favorite synagogue in the world, the one of the university on Mt. Scopus, I saw there, in the entrance to the synagogue, a Zohar book. It was placed where people usually leave books to give away. I took it in my hand. It wasn't the WHOLE Zohar, just a part of it, but it was interpreted in a way that is easy to understand, even for people with not much background. I started reading it, and I try to read a part of it every Shabbat. It is interesting. I want to continue. I feel that without intending to, I'm also learning Aramaic in the process, because the original text is in this language, and then it is translated to Hebrew.
The Zohar is the main book of the Kabbalah (Jewish Mysticism). Our tradition holds that it was written in the 2nd century by Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai. Secular researchers want to think that it was written in the 13th century. Either way, everyone agrees that it was written many hundreds of years ago - before anyone ever thought of establishing NASA, the American space agency, which provided us with satellite pictures from outer space. When you read some of the things that are written there, you are left with a feeling of awe and wonder: 'How did they know these things back then?'. I'll give you an example. The Zohar on the Book of Leviticus (page 10, A) says the following amazing truths on astronomy, at a time and age that humanity didn't possess such knowledge. The following is my translation of it, so don't expect it to be perfect:

"The whole world is turning around in a circle like a ball. Some people live in its bottom, and others live above. And all those who live in the different parts of Earth are different from each other due to the changes of weather, according to the weather that is in every different place. This is why they look different. There are places in which some have day light while the others have night. And there is a place in the world that is always with light without night, except for a very short time". 

If you want to see the original, I'll keep it at the bottom of this post. But - isn't it amazing? Long before Copernicus and Galileo, whether it was in the 2nd century or the 13th century, humanity didn't yet possess this kind of knowledge, and this Zohar book of Torah commentary tells this so explicitly! I'm so impressed!!! What else does this book know that we do not know today? Whatever it is, I would like to know it, so I've started learning. I wish there was more than just one Shabbat a week, so that I could read and study a lot more. I feel so privileged to be able to read it!

And also - the way it happened - I just felt the desire in my heart to study this book - and here it appeared in front of me at a place where they give books away. It was SO amazing! And it is not the first time that something like this happened to me. I wanted to study more about some areas of Jewish Law, and a specific book appeared (in exactly the same place!) just on time. HaShem listens.

We're experiencing a very hot summer here, which makes one want to stay indoors and not go out, and I've started feeling that I just don't move enough, and it is not good. Last Shabbat I took a walk to explore some streets in my neighborhoods and I discovered a street that I wasn't familiar with before. It's a villa street, and it is circular and quiet. I decided to start a walking routine every morning, and have this street as a regular part of my track. It's a big circle, with uphill and downhill parts, and I do it twice every day. To give myself the motivation to do it, especially in this heat, I listen to Torah classes while I walk, and then I feel like I'm not wasting my time on physical things, I actually gain some spiritual gains at the same time. When I need to give myself the motivation to go on a walk, I tell myself that it's time to listen to a Torah class on my smartphone, and so I go.

This week's Torah Portion is that of Pinchas. In last week's Portion, it was told how the Israelites started worshiping the Medianite's foreign god, and this happened because of their sexual promiscuity with the women of Median. A very prominent Israelite person, the prince of the tribe of Shimon, brought a Medianite woman and sinned with her in front of Moses and the whole nation, and in front of the Tent of Meeting. G-d punished us with an epidemic because of these sins. Then Pinchas, grandson of Aaron, took a spear and killed the Jewish prince and the Medianite woman. By doing it, the epidemic stopped and G-d gave him the gift of priesthood. You may ask why a gift of priesthood, isn't he a priest already, just by being Aaron's grandson? The answer is: no. Descendants of Aaron who were born AFTER Aaron was anointed as priest - they and their offsprings are priests, for ever. But Pinchas was born BEFORE Aaron was anointed, and therefore was not a priest. There is a lot to say about this whole episode. But I think the main message here is courage. Courage to be just, even if it is politically incorrect, non popular. Even if everyone around says and does the exact opposite of G-d's will - the courage to stand for what G-d wants. This is very relevant to our day and age. The Torah commands us to keep certain moral laws. But modern society has started fashioning their own laws, calling that which is good 'bad', and that which is bad 'good'. Horrible phenomena of people who do the exact opposite of G-d's will, proudly, without apologizing, and society celebrates them and prides them, and parades them. The cost for society in the long run, in the future, is going to be immense. It affects us in all kinds of different ways and we do not know where it would end. G-d stated His will in the Torah, but these people trample His word with their behavior and parades. He tells them in so many ways that this is wrong - including creating a disease that is specific to this kind of behavior, but they use modern medicine to get over it, to get healed from it, to avoid it. They don't want to listen. I think the whole world is washed with this wave, and it is very regrettable. If you don't agree with this now, you'll be forced to agree with this in the future, when the societal consequences of such behaviors will be evident and apparent to all, when it will be clear that the Torah is truly divine and unchangeable, and that "Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace" (Proverbs 3:17). And Pinchas got a covenant of peace from G-d. None of us should kill, ever. But we should speak against that which is wrong. Not easy to do, but we should, each in our own way. So I did it now, in my own way.
Shabbat Shalom!

This is the original text from the Zohar book - in Aramaic with Hebrew translation in brackets. 

"כל ישובא מתגלגלא בעיגולא כדור (כל העולם כולו מתגלגל בעיגול ככדור). אלין לתתא ואלין לעילא (חלק מבני האדם מתגוררים למטה בתחתית כדור הארץ, וחלק למעלה). וכל אינון בריין משניין בחזווייהו משנויא דאוירא, כפום כל אתר ואתר, וקיימין בקיומייהו כשאר בני נשא (וכל אלו המתגוררים בחלקים השונים של כדור הארץ - שונים אחד מהשני בגלל שינוי מזג האויר, כפי מזג האויר של כל מקום ומקום. לכן תראה אותם שונים). ועל דא אית אתר בישובא כד נהיר לאלין, חשיך לאלין. לאלין יממא, ולאלין לילא (ישנם מקומות שלאלו יש אור ולאלו יש לילה). ואית אתר דכוליה יממא, ולא אישתכח ביה ליליא בר בשעתא חדא עירא (ויש מקום בעולם שמואר תמיד ולא יימצא בו לילה, אלא זמן מועט). 

Balak Portion

This week's Torah Portion is that of Balak (starting in Numbers 22: 2). It tells the story of Balak, King of Moab, who was afraid of the People of Israel and sends the non-Jewish prophet, Balaam, to CURSE the Israelite nation because of this fear! Balaam is considered to be an evil person in our tradition. And why is that? If you read the Portion superficially, he may appear a very good person, perhaps even righteous - he believes in G-d, and he constantly says that he will only say that which G-d will put in his mouth. So why do we view him as evil? Because he wasn't against this cursing - he didn't mind cursing Israel, it was OK with him to do it, and he even agreed to try again and again and again to change G-d's mind about it. But every time he was about to curse, G-d put blessings in his mouth instead, including the verse: Those who curse Israel will be cursed, and those who bless Israel will be blessed. Balak and Balaam tried three different times to curse Israel, but three different times G-d put blessings in Balaam's mouth. 

We learn from this a few things. One, the power of words is so great. Blessing or cursing people is not a mere useless speech. Our speech, according to Jewish tradition and Kabbalah (Jewish Mysticism) has power to create reality, to change reality, to build worlds, to destroy worlds. We have to be very minded of the way we use speech. When I was a little girl, I remember thinking to myself that perhaps each person can only say a fixed number of words in life, and if he talks too much and wastes his words, his life will be over sooner than it was supposed to. When I grew up, I found this idea in one of Shai Agnon's books, and it was nice to feel like someone else in this world had this idea too. I no longer think this way, but I am trying to always be very minded of the things I say, and I try not to say much and stay away from gossip and evil speech as much as I can. 

We also learn from this that G-d has His will, and even if it is not compatible with what we want, His will will prevail. I'm sure you have felt it in your life - that you seek G-d's guidance. In certain junctions in life you ask Him whether you should turn right or left. And the answer comes, in G-d's wonderful, mysterious ways - either through a clear feeling in our hearts, or a clear thought in our minds, through a line in a song that plays on the radio or a casual conversation taking place behind us on the bus. We get a clear answer, and we KNOW this is the answer. But if we don't like the answer - if we wanted a different answer, we ask G-d again, hoping He will change His mind and give us a different answer. But He doesn't. And we do this again and again, and He, with His endless patience, keeps sending us guidance, even though we try to have things our own way. 

I find it so strange that Moab, an established nation, was afraid of Israel - a small, physically week, peaceful nation - I remember many years ago, a very special meeting I had when I visited Seoul in South Korea for a couple of weeks. I was staying in a special guest house - the guest house was actually the real home of the landlady and manager. They had many rooms in the house and the guests slept in the rooms. During the day or in the evenings, the guests would meet with each other in the living room, and the landlady would cook and give food to everyone. I remember a few things from that time, but I'll focus here on the one that left a big impression on me. One day, I saw in the living room three men. From their appearance, it seemed like they came from a Muslim country, which of course, made me tense - how will they react when they'll here I'm from Israel. Will they be hostile to me? I tried to avoid them, but they turned to me, asked where I was from and we started talking. They were from Pakistan, and yes, at first they were cold and suspicious, but little by little they warmed up to me and I felt that eventually they even respected and liked me as a person. They asked me if everyone in Israel was like me. I took it to mean that they no longer felt any hostility towards me. Anyway, since it was in a time that was very hard for my country, with buses exploding and coffee shops and restaurants blowing up in the air, I told them frankly about how we feel, and the fact that we feel fear of the situation. I wasn't religious at that point, and I didn't know to look at the situation with a wider perspective like I do now, that even if we have rough time, we are moving forward to a future of redemption, a good future. I told them we feel that the whole Muslim world is against us, and (I'm ashamed now to admit that I said something like this to them!) - I told them we were afraid. When they heard that, they opened their eyes wide and looked at me with amazement. I felt like they were laughing in their hearts thinking something like: "What, are YOU afraid?!". You know, as non-religious as I was back then, I FELT there was an undertone, a subtext in their question, telling me something like 'how can YOU, with G-d behind you and at your side, be afraid of US?". I felt from the tone in their question that THEY were afraid of US, of that tiny nation that we are, a nation that just emerged from the holocaust not too long ago, and who returned to its country from a long, bitter exile everywhere. I was shocked at their reaction, and it is etched in my mind forever. Just like Balak, King of Moab, was afraid of the peaceful nation of nomads, former slaves, that we were, so the huge Muslim world is afraid of that same nation - and not because of our physical power, but because of the spiritual Power that stands behind us. I will never forget them, or the conversation we had. I know now that if that same conversation would have happened today, I would have never said to them something like 'we are afraid', simply because we, the believers, are not afraid. We see the bigger picture. 

My new neighbors next door, Ruth and Boaz, who came to Israel from America a few weeks ago, asked me where should they run if there is a missile attack on Jerusalem. I checked it for them and told them where the shelter is (in the basement of our building), but I also told them that it had never occurred to me to look for a shelter, not in this neighborhood, not in my former neighborhood. Last time there was a siren warning us of a missile attack in Jerusalem a few years ago, it was a Friday night, just before Shabbat, and I went to the synagogue like everyone else did. The siren was hauling outside, and we were peacefully praying inside, without any proper shelter other than our trust in G-d. 

Now that I wrote about that visit in Seoul, two more episodes cross my mind from that time. One, in the living room I met a young man from Germany. When he heard that I was from Israel he was SO nice, SO sweet, too nice, too sweet, too polite. He asked me out for coffee in the city, and I know that he wasn't asking ME out, he was asking the Jewish people out, to talk about what had happened in WWII. I didn't want to go, but didn't want to offend him, so I reluctantly said yes. And in the coffee shop he asked me: "Do all people in Israel think that all Germans are bad?". Straight to the point, just like that. Again, that was another conversation that I will probably not forget too quickly. It made me feel so uncomfortable. Do I know what every Israeli think? Most probably some think that, and others don't. I think most people don't think that. Yes, there is suspicion, and there will always be, probably, but whenever I myself feel suspicion when I meet some people from Germany, I try to remind myself of all the saintly Germans who saved Jews from the Nazis while risking their own lives. I'd rather look at every German and think that they would have chosen to be heroes, and not villains, during that war. It is not easy. I've met many people from Germany during my travels, and there is always a tension when they hear that I'm from Israel. They suddenly become very cautious and polite, like they're walking on eggshells. When I studied in Japan, the family of one of the German students in my dorms, a very sweet girl, came to visit her. They sat at the communal kitchen in my floor, and for some reason I went in to take something that I needed. She introduced me and said where I was from, and the moment she did, for some reason my eyes fell on her father's face. His face became pink, I felt the food he was eating was stuck in his throat, and I only wanted to run away from there, which I did, without being impolite. I don't know why he reacted like this. Was it guilt? Was it antisemitism? Was it that his parents or grandparents did something wrong during the war? Is is a simple prejudice? I don't know. But not with every German it is like this. With his daughter I always felt very comfortable. I've met many Germans with whom there was no problem, perhaps just a bit of a tension. One German girl that I traveled with told me bluntly one day that as a German, she's had enough of hearing about the Holocaust in her country, that they teach it to them too much in the school system, etc. I was shocked. Too much? Is there such a thing as 'too much' after their nation and culture brought about something so unimaginable? I don't think there is 'too much'. Her generation is innocent, for sure, but they are bred in the same culture that brought about Nazism and the Holocaust to the world. No one asks them to pay for their fathers' sins, of course, but the least they could do is accept the fact that they need to learn from it and study about it, and there is not 'too much' in this respect. 

One more thing I remember from that visit to Seoul was my friendship with the landlady of the guesthouse. She really liked me and kept in touch with me later as well, for a long time. She was so nice to me, spilled her heart to me, told me about her aches and pains, and was eager to hear everything that I had to say. I remember her very fondly, except for one incident that broke my heart. As I said, I wasn't religious at the time, but I grew up in a traditional home, and for me - eating shrimp, crabs and all those sea creatures was an absolute no-no, even then. I would never do something like this, even as a secular person. She promised me that the food she served me was 'kosher-style' - without things I'm not supposed to eat. She introduced Kimchi to me, a national dish of Korea, and I liked it. It was healthy and tasty. I thought it was 'kosher' until one day I returned to the guest house in the middle of the day, and saw her preparing Kimchi. She was scrubbing the cabbage leaves hard with shrimps... to give it a taste. When she realized that I saw her, her face 'fell'. She was so embarrassed and ashamed to be caught in a lie, and my heart was broken. How could anyone do something like this to anyone else? Even if you feel that the other person's habits and customs are strange and meaningless, don't promise them that you do everything to keep it, and then violate it without their knowing. When I lived in my previous neighborhood in Jerusalem, I used to host many Shabbat dinners. And some people were vegetarians or Vegans. Even though I myself am not, I was so meticulous to cook for them food that didn't even TOUCH chicken, fish or meat. 

Anyway, all these memories from Seoul all of a sudden. 

The Prophet Portion that we read this week is from Micah, 5:6 - 6:8. The first verse in this Portion has my name in it in Hebrew: "And the remnant of Jacob shall be in the midst of many nations as dew from the Lord, as showers upon the grass, that do not wait for anyone, nor are awaited at the hands of the sons of men". This verse says that when the people of Israel will be in exile, they will be like a gift from Heaven to those nations. They will be a blessing to those nations - but a blessing that the nations don't ask for, don't wait for, perhaps even don't want. And still, the blessing will be there. And when you think of all the blessing that the Jewish presence brought to the nations in which they were scattered, the blessings are so many; not just intellectual, cultural and economic blessings, but also - spiritual ones. Look around you in the world. All the nations which the Jewish people was scattered to - turned from being idol worshipers to being believers in the One G-d. Jews were exiled to Europe, and Europeans became Christians. Jews were exiled to the Middle East and Arab countries, and those nations turned into Muslims. Jews were NOT exiled to Japan, Papua New Guinea, India, etc., and in those countries - people remained idol worshipers. Now everything changes, and Christianity and Islam are growing in such countries as well, but for most of history, there was no awareness or worship of the One G-d in those areas. 

Anyway, the Prophet Portion ends with another verse that I like so much: "It has been told to you, Oh man, what is good, and what the Lord requires of you. Only to do justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your G-d." This verse is not directed only towards Israel. It is directed towards all the nations of the world. HaShem expects greatly of the nations of the world as well. He loves them too, He guides them too, and through our scriptures, He instructs them and brings them closer to Him. I like the universal aspects of the Torah and the Prophets. 

Shabbat in Jerusalem will start tonight at 7:12.
So I'll quit here to be able to prepare. 

Shabbat Shalom from Jerusalem!