Changes

The university, in which up until Oct. 7th the walls were covered with signs and ads against the government (and against 60% of our nation), is now empty. The library was closed for a long time, but they reopened it, partially, last week or so. So I go there once every few days. I'm amazed at how now, instead of those inciting signs, the university is covered with flags, Israel flags. It is so moving to see. The flags are hanging on windows, on doors, on ad boards, really everywhere. I only hope that this spirit will continue even when the students return, when the school year starts. 

Because of the war, they postponed the beginning of the school year 3 times already, every time in a few more weeks. Now they're thinking of canceling the first semester and having a summer semester instead. The reason? So many of the students (and also some of the teachers) are now soldiers fighting in Gaza. 

I'm not directly related to the university now. I can go in because I once studied and taught there. And for me it is home. I like it when the campus is almost empty and that I can sit quietly at the library and study or work or look out the big windows at the views of Jerusalem and dream. I like walking the corridors. Souls from the past are still there in so many ways, and when I'm there, I feel like I'm coming home. I feel like I myself am almost like ghost, walking there, looking for my younger self there, perhaps wanting to help her, direct and guide her. But she is not there, neither is the soul whose presence I feel everywhere there. She is within me, and so is that soul. But they are not there in body. Wouldn't it have been nice if we could go back in time just as we can go back in space to places that were meaningful to us and either change things or just watch or experience some scenes over and over again?

Anyway, regardless of this, I felt at home in that campus the first time I ever set foot there, many years ago. It felt like home from the first moment. Why? Who knows? There is something so special there, so lofty and spiritual. It is ironic, because the lecturers and most of the students are as far as can be from spiritual life. So it is not about them. It is about the place. It feels as if there is something holy there. Something peaceful, beautiful, mysterious. What is it? Why is it? I have no idea. But I was attracted to it since the first time I went there. 

It started raining a couple of hours ago, very heavy rain, strong winds. I love this weather. It is the closest to home I can feel. There's nothing better than sitting at home with a hot cup of tea, secure from the elements, and hearing the sounds of winter outside. I love it. And again. So many reminders of our hostages and soldiers. Do they have this luxury? I thank every soldier out there who fights so that I and all the others (minus the 240 hostages and 1400 victims of murder) will be able to have a warm cup of tea at our homes. 

I'll pray for them and read the Psalms for them later tonight, Bli neder.