Ki Tavo / Isaiah 60

Shavua tov!

Something great happened in the past couple of days, something that has the potential to be HUGE. A few days ago I made a mental exercise. I opened my heart to allow G-d to send something good to me, through me, something that would be helpful to me and to others. Well, that something came to me very soon afterwards, on Thursday night, as I was returning to my new neighborhood from town after therapy sessions with my clients. It took me a few minutes to wake up and realize that something nice is happening in front of my eyes - something that is nice not only to me, but to others as well. I acted upon it - and the results are HUGE. I can't say what it is, I'd rather keep this private, but HaShem just sent me an opportunity to serve Him on a much larger basis and with much more impact, I hope. I was so excited the whole Shabbat. It is the biggest thing that has happened to me in a long long time, and I'm so grateful for the opportunity to serve Him in this way. This has the potential to call many of His children back to their homeland and to bring more and more people around the world to faith in Him. May He bless these efforts. I'm so grateful.

Something else has begun, which is very happy and blessed. Two of my Hebrew students have become my neurotherapy clients, and it goes beautifully well. One of them is an 81 year old woman - but if you look at her, you can't guess her age. She looks 60. She is so beautiful, smart, clear headed, independent, strong. A true inspiration. A lot of beautiful things happened thanks to our meeting, some beautiful projects were born and came into being, and now this. She has suffered from eating disorders all of her life. Her problem is food addiction - any kind of emotional arousal makes her run to the kitchen and fill herself up with food. I told her that I wasn't sure the method I work with would help, but already after just one session she reported so many beautiful things - she sleeps and dreams a lot of vivid dreams, she experiences inner calm and joyfulness, and the most important thing - she experiences no food cravings at all! I really hope it would keep this way. Now is the time before the High Holidays, and she cooks - and worst - she bakes, and this is very dangerous for someone like her, because preparing sweet food is a trigger for binge eating - but she told me very excitedly that she looks at the food and it doesn't "call" her. She experiences indifference towards it. Please G-d, may it keep being this way and grow even better. The other client is a 13 year old girl, very sweet, a new immigrant from America. She experiences ADD - she dreams away in class and doesn't really get anything in class. When I saw her after a long time of not seeing her, she seemed depressed. I recognized this tendency the last time that I saw her, some two years ago, and it seemed to have grown worse. So after two sessions in which I felt there was no hope, when I went there to do the third session she welcomed me so joyously. She left a party that was taking place on their roof, and was very motivated to do the session. I was so moved to see this. It truly made me happy. I hope we can help her also with her learning disabilities. Anyway, I thank G-d so abundantly for this and pray that He should keep blessing these efforts and grant us blessings and success. Amen!

Anyway, something personal, that perhaps, maybe, would be able to help someone. I've tried to donate blood for many years now, but in Israel, before we donate blood, they take a tiny drop of blood from your finger, put it in special slide, put the slide in a special machine, and the machine tells you how much iron/hemoglobin you have. If you are a woman and have less than 12, they refuse to take blood from you, no matter how much you beg them to do that. They tell you that you need every drop of blood yourself and it is dangerous for you to donate blood. In the past ten years I tried again and again to donate blood. Every time I was trying to eat something full of iron just before going to the blood giving station, hoping that my numbers will go above the threshold, but again and again the numbers were low, very low. The last time I tried, my numbers went so low that the people in the station were alarmed and couldn't understand how it is that I look healthy, when my iron is SO low. A few days later, I received a letter from them, warning me that I have to go to see a doctor to take care of this Anemia. I told myself, as I always do, that I won't go to a doctor, I'll try to get my iron up by improving my diet. I try not to have anything to do with doctors. I do not normally eat "bad" things, but I do not eat enough "good" things, like green vegetables and meat. There are days on end that I eat no protein at all.
A year has passed since that alarmed letter from the blood donation station, and even though I planned to improve my eating habits, I didn't. I often wondered how it is that I don't feel weak and that I do not have all the symptoms that anemic people have - I feel and look strong, and everything is fine. But - recently, in the past few months, and especially in the past few weeks, I started to finally experience the results of iron deficiency. It started with problems being focused when reading, then forgetting things that I did a moment ago, and then, most recently, there was a rapid deterioration in my vision. I used to have (Baruch HaShem) an incredible eye sight - people often were astonished: "how can you see that?" when I could read small prints from very far away, and from very near. Recently, I experienced for the first time in my life problems with vision. My vision became blurred and it was deteriorating in a rapid pace. I understood for the first time the experience of people who need glasses. I was alarmed (finally...!) and was afraid that in this pace I might (G-d forbid!) lose my vision (never, please!). I also had this strange rash on my skin. I read online to see whether it can be related to Anemia - and sure it is, the answer was a big yes. And only these symptoms made me realize that I have to take better care of myself.
Last week I started to finally do something about it. I now eat beef and leafy green vegetables (like parsley, coriander, etc.), and the effects are just amazing. I never expected to see the changes SO quickly! First, my vision is returning to normal, it's almost normal already, after only one week! I no longer feel like I need glasses. Second, I am much more sharp and in focus - I read fast and am able to remember what I read. Third, the rash on my arm has subsided and only a tiny itching is left, which I believe will go away in a week. Fourth, and that's the strangest thing: a couple of days ago I saw myself in the mirror and something seemed strange to me. I looked different and it took me a while to realize why. It looked as if I had make up on, but I didn't, I never do. It looked as if I got sun-tanned, but I wasn't in the sun more than usual, and I always wear sunscreen. It then hit me: I had COLOR in my face! My cheeks were rosy (rather than colorless) and my lips were red (rather than the usual pale pink). It was quite shocking. It was like my body was coming back to life, and I didn't even realize it was not that much alive! Fifth - and that's really the strangest thing - the inner feeling in my body is like blood is flowing through my veins. I feel these currents flowing in my face, in my lips, in my arms, in my hands. It's such a new sensation. The area underneath my fingernails no longer looks white. It has color! My hands are warm (well, not really warm-warm, just much warmer than the icy cold they used to be most of my life) - and this is totally new to me. And all of this happens only after one week of protein and iron diet, with lots of green leaves. I want to keep this up, until my iron levels are back to normal, and then I'll be able to finally donate blood! The last time I was allowed to do so was in 2009!

This week's Torah Portion was Ki Tavo - and I beg all of you to read it. It has a list of curses and blessings - curses if we do not keep G-d's Torah, and blessings if we do. When I look around me everywhere in Jerusalem - I see blessings in abundance, so I hope it means that G-d is happy with us. There are so many people who observe Shabbat and all the other commandments, and this is so heart-warming and uplifting. I'm happy to be able to witness this and to be a (tiny) part of this. And when you read the curses - they describe all of the pogroms, the holocaust, the horrors of the crusades, the inquisition - all of this is described in this Portion. Please, please read it: Deuteronomy (fifth Moses book) chapters 26:1 till 28:8. 
The Prophet Portion (Haftorah) that we read this week is one of my favorite chapters in the whole Bible - Isaiah 60, the whole chapter. This chapter is whole blessings and consolations - and we see everything that is written there taking place in front of our eyes in Jerusalem and elsewhere in Israel. But Jerusalem is the center of these blessings. Please, read this chapter too - and when you do - please think of all the blessings you've witnessed in Jerusalem! Isaiah 60.

I wish you the best week, full of blessings!
With love from Jerusalem,
R.