The power of mind... wow...

Further to what I wrote here last time about my army-time mental experiments, I'd like to share here something from recent times, in fact, also from today. I'm still trying to understand what the meaning of it all is, how best to use it, what's the purpose of it all, and what are the responsible boundaries to put around it. So, I'll start from the beginning. 

This year, around Succot, I decided to start exploring the power of mind, after many years of freezing my explorations in this area. I decided to conduct three mental experiments, and see what happens. I chose experiments that are of different 'difficulty' levels. One that was improbable to happen, but still possible. The second one was even less probable, and the third one the least probable of all. These were the experiments, in order of difficulty:

1. After four months of not having heard from a colleague of mine in the US, I decided that my first experiment would be to 'call' her mentally, to see if I'll get a message from her. It was improbable that she would write or contact me, because there was no need for that, and it's been four months since we last spoke, but I decided to do it precisely because it was not so probable. I quieted my mind, and at several different occasions imagined that she would send me a text message on WhatsApp, something along the lines of: "Hello, sweet lady, haven't heard from you in a while", or something like this. Two days later (two days!!) I got a message from her, on WhatsApp, for no special reason, nothing related to work whatsoever, and I copy it here: 

checking in, sweet lady, to see how you're doing? 

(These are her words, that she typed on her phone and sent me, and I copied and pasted here...). Needless to say, I was flabbergasted. It was nothing less than amazing! Not so much the fact that she wrote (even though I really like her, and it's nice to hear from her). What's amazing was that my experiment worked! I chose this experiment because I thought it would be improbable to hear from her for no job-related reason all of a sudden, but it happened two days later! Gladly, it was around Succot so I could send her pictures from the tabernacles in my neighborhood with the verses from the Torah that talk about this festival and do Kiddush Hashem in the process (she is Christian, and had come with her husband to Israel about two years ago - I think thanks to our online conversations. Her husband is a priest, so they came with a group and it was magical to meet them in person after working with her online only). So this was experiment 1, the easiest of the three, and it took two days to succeed. 

2. The second experiment was even less likely to succeed, it involved a student of mine whom I haven't seen or been in touch with for 3 or more years. Since I didn't have anything in particular to say, I preferred not to get a direct personal communication, but rather a general message meant not just for me. So I imagined that in my email I get a mail from this person, that was sent to an entire mailing list, announcing something or asking for something. It seemed so far fetched, but I focused my mind on it once in a while, not believing it would happen, but not blocking it with skepticism either. This time it took 2 weeks. I started the experiment on Sept. 25th, and it succeeded on October 8th. It didn't happen exactly as I imagined (nothing landed in my email), but it was very close to it: In some WhatsApp group that I'm a member of, the administrator of the group forwarded a message from someone. This is how it reads (again, I simply copy and paste it to here): 

Looking for a diligent, creative person who could develop and manage an online marketing/social media presence for a musician, including developing a strategy for releasing songs and developing a fan base during the coming year. Please send a message if you or someone you know would like nothing more than to take on such a challenge. 

Below this message was an email address, and I recognized the person by the email address. That was beyond amazing. Incredible! Another experiment marked as success. 

3. The third experiment was the hardest, and I thought it would not succeed. I didn't even know if the person was alive, so I thought, if they aren't, maybe I can get a spam message from their email or something. This time it was a teacher of mine from the time I was on scholarship in a foreign country far-far away, on the other side of the world. When I was in her country, I was studying their language at a university, and she was one of my teachers. Because there was no one else who was exactly at my level (some were higher, some were lower), my classes with her were one-on-one, just me and her, and we've had wonderful deep, spiritual conversations, and became friendly with each other. Six years ago, when I visited their country, I met her again, it was so nice, but - because I changed (I became religious and couldn't eat at a restaurant, etc.), I felt that she didn't know how to process it, how to relate to me. I mean, if I cannot eat at a restaurant, only drink green tea, I must be so different, and what venue is there to continue this relationship? She didn't say anything, but it was obvious to me. When I was back in Israel, I emailed her a nice friendly email, but never heard back, and never expected to hear back in a million years. And this is why I chose her for the third experiment. I started it on Sept. 25th, exactly at the same time as my second experiment. I didn't insist or try to force anything, just - from time to time I remembered her and imagined receiving an email from her in my mailbox. I told myself that even if it would be a spam message that some virus sends out from her email account, I would consider it a success. Well... you won't believe it, ever, but today, (today!), exactly three months after I started my experiment with her, I got an email from her. It landed in my spam box, but gladly, I check my spam to make sure nothing important goes there. It was from her, and in the subject line it said (in her language): "_____ who taught at _____ university". I was shocked, it was just too unbelievable. It's been 6 years since I saw her and since that email I sent to her, what made her write to me all of the sudden? I opened the letter. It was long and personal. She explained what she's been through during the past six years (she was hospitalized for a few weeks right after I left, and then 6 months ago she lost her husband to cancer, etc.). She apologizes for not being in touch and not writing back and hopes that I don't think she is a cold person, etc. I am still shocked, and this is why I write here. I haven't replied yet, I hope to do it tomorrow at the latest, I still have to digest first the unlikely success of this experiment. Unbelievable. If I had any doubt before that our minds are powerful, now I can't have any, that's it, no doubts left. 

And it's not working only with people. It's working with anything. I tried to do it with a song. I chose a song that I like and that I hadn't heard in a long time ("moon river"), and tried to focus on it calmly, imagining that I hear it. A couple of days later, the song suddenly played on the radio. This is just incredible. And it's not like I have any special powers. We all do. This is how we are designed - in G-d's image. Our minds help shape and create the world. This is why it is so important to watch our thoughts carefully and to weed-out negative thoughts. 

Again, I don't know what the meaning of it is and if G-d even wants me to share these experiences, so I'm sharing them here, hoping only the right people will read them. There are things I would never try to achieve in this way because they are morally wrong, so I put a fence around my mind making sure I don't do it on things that I'm not supposed to have now. But - on Shabbat I had such a relaxing, calm, beautiful time, and images and thoughts came to my mind - involuntarily. I felt like this is how it feels to be on the receiving end - when I'm not the initiator of these things, but the receiver. It felt good, I allowed myself to flow with it, without forgetting to put boundaries to myself so as not to wish for something that is not mine to have, and when I felt satisfied, I told myself, and HaShem, that this is not a wish and that I'm allowing every person to be where they want to be and respecting them wherever they are. Still, these things are amazing. 

Because this is something so personal, I'm not sure I'll write about it often, but from now on I'd like to explore this more in depth and more often and try to fathom what the meaning, purpose and scope of this may be. In the midst of it all, I remember and never forget, there is a Master to this universe, and whatever tool He gives us, is to be used responsibly in His service. 

Shavua Tov!

R.

Hanukkah of miracles

So it is Hanukkah again, the festival of lights, of miracles. I spent its beginning in self-quarantine at home, we call it here bidud. My next door neighbors had contracted the coronavirus, and since I saw them at their home, and we were not wearing masks, I wanted to take cautionary measures and quarantine myself, just in case I contracted it too, so I won't infect others. Because they have not done the test, I was not obligated by law to quarantine myself. The law only requires quarantine if you were in a contact of more than 15 minutes with verified patients (people who did the test and were found to be positive). I only spent a few minutes at their place, asking them to help me open a jar of olives that I couldn't open myself. It was hard for them to open it too, but after 10 minutes, they managed to do that. They haven't been tested until now, but they have the symptoms. So the law does not obligate me to be in bidud, but being obligated by law is one thing, and being obligated by my conscience is another, and I decided to follow the dictates of my conscience. I was supposed to start teaching a family the next day, 2-3 hours a day for a few days a week, but I decided to wait. I told the family the reason I postpone my coming, and they said that if I feel well, I should not worry, and 'please come'. I slept on it and decided not to go, even though an inner voice in me whispered to me that it's OK and that I am not infected and that I should go. I didn't know if I could trust that little voice. So I've been in bidud for a week and it ended today, exactly two weeks since I saw my neighbors at their home (they only told me that they think they have the corona a week after I went there). That jar of olives turned out to be very expensive, eventually... The good thing is that during this time at home I've been working hard on some project that is important to me and that I want to finish, and I managed to make a lot of progress. I also had all the food I needed at home, as friends of mine brought me a box of organic vegetables and fruit a few days earlier, so there was no problem. Yesterday I contacted the family and told them I'm ready to start today, but now they are going to the Dead Sea for a vacation, so it gets delayed again... Anyway, it is all good, and it is all from G-d. I really appreciate having the time at home to work, reflect and be focused. 

Something good about Hanukkah: unlike every year that I used to go out and see the menorahs alight, this year, because of the bidud, I had to sit down and look at my own candles. After lighting the candles, I sit for between 30 to 60 minutes with electric lights off, looking at the candles, letting their flame wash my eyes. I do a thanking session - thanking G-d for different things He gives me, and also focusing on a good thought. I decided that it can be any good thought that I want, anything, as long as it is good and makes me feel good. So I imagined myself abroad, in an international environment, and in the process I also recalled a friend of mine that I haven't seen in a few years. And - today I got a WhatsApp message from her and she asked if she could call me and talk. We had a wonderful conversation. It's just amazing how much power our minds have. I can 'call' people in my mind, and then they call in real life. When I was a soldier, I did this experiment with a soldier friend of mine, Tal. She and I were doing a night shift, and split the night between us. I was supposed to sleep for 4 hours at the beginning of the shift, and she was supposed to sleep for 4 hours at the later half of the shift. I told her about the power that our minds have. She is not spiritual. She wasn't spiritual then, and she still isn't spiritual today, but she is a psychologist today. Anyway, she was willing to put her skepticism aside for one night and she performed the experiment as I had told her. The way we did it was as follows: each of us was to select one person that we haven't seen in a long time, and it doesn't have to be anybody special or interesting, it could be really anybody. We each selected a person whom we hadn't seen since high school, which meant two years. Just before falling asleep, we were supposed to imagine that person, see their face, hear their voice, imagine that we meet them, with the purpose of spiritually causing a meeting with them, not because they were important, just for the sake of our experiment. And we did this. I focused on a person who was a friend of mine back at school, and she did the same, but in her case she focused on someone she loved at high school, his name is Asaf, I still remember it to this day. Before we fell asleep, each of us focused on the person we chose, and imagined meeting them. The next morning we went home, I went home to my parents home south of Tel Aviv, and she went to her parents home in Jerusalem. 

On my way back by bus, I feel asleep and woke up right when the bus left the bus stop in which I was supposed to get off the bus. I stood up, readying myself to get off at the next bus stop, when I saw 'my' person, who has just boarded the bus. We met after two years that we haven't seen each other. I was shocked. My experiment succeeded! But if I tell Tal, will she believe me? She's such a skeptic! Sure enough, soon Tal and I talked, and it turns out that on that same day, as she was getting off the bus in the (old) central bus station of Jerusalem, she saw... Asaf!!! You can imagine how she felt!! It was shocking to both her and me. I asked her if she talked with him and she said she didn't, and she wished she said something to him. So I suggested she should do it again - "call" him again, mentally. She did, and sure enough - she saw him again, again at the central bus station in Jerusalem. She said hi or something, but she felt he was not interested, and it ended there. He was in love with someone else from Jerusalem, whom I knew from my army course. So anyway, he wasn't her guy, but the point is that in our little experiment, I tried and succeeded once, and she tried and succeeded twice in "calling" a person and have them enter our experience. I'm still in touch with Tal, even though she doesn't live in Israel any more and I met her a year or so ago in Jerusalem when she came to visit her family. I asked her if she remembers our experiment. She does, how could she forget? But it didn't change her worldview, she is still not spiritual, at all, which is something that is hard for me to understand. How could she experience something like this and not become a believer? 

Anyway, I remembered this because of Anette, this friend of mine who called me suddenly today after a long time that I haven't heard from her - after I thought about her and her family yesterday. It was so interesting. 

So, to make a long story short, sitting in front of the candles and focusing on something positive, not allowing my mind to wander to negative places, is really good, it elevates the heart and mind up, it fills the mind with joy, and - it has results in the real world. 

Something that made me happy recently - I got a long Skype message from a woman in a distant land in which I studied in my past. She lives in a northern island in that country, and her son was closing himself at home, at his room, not going to school for a very long time. She contacted a clinician in the capital city of her country. This clinician works with us - with our technology and under our clinical guidance. After a few good month of training, her child is like a new person - he started going to school, going to sports activities in the afternoon, has less headaches, less fears, more confidence, really, like a new person. I helped them a few times on Skype with some technical things, so she has my contact details. What moved me was, of course, this story of success, but also what she said: she wrote that she didn't know about this type of therapy, but her husband knows a lot about the history of the world, and he said that if this therapy involves an Israeli technology, they should try it, because Israel is a smart nation. This is the only reason why they had the courage to take their son from their home in the north island to the capital city, by plane, for testing and instructions, and then do a long series of training at their home. And thanks to that, their son is a new person today, a healthy version of himself. I feel humbled to have the merit and privilege to be a part of this. I feel that my part was very small, but still, it makes me super happy, nonetheless. And the words of the Torah are manifested again in this, Deuteronomy 4:6. I feel this is a true Kiddush HaShem, sanctification of G-d's name. 

And also, all these amazing things that happen to my nation - the Abraham Accords with Qatar, Bahrain, Morocco, Bhutan, and soon other countries. Unbelievable, incredible, moving, exciting, humbling. G-d is GREAT!!! Who could have imagined that anything like this should happen, and so soon? Just like that, all of a sudden? This is simply unbelievable, like a dream, and G-d is really great, I don't have enough words to praise Him for that. 

The sky in Israel has been looking really dramatic and unusual for the past few months, so much so that people talk about it. Today, when I went out after a week at home, I had a chance to see it again. Something strange, good and great is going to happen, and it is going to happen soon. Things happen so fast, things just happen which makes one pause and think. This is just incredible! 

The Lubavitcher rebbe told Binyamin Netanyahu some 30 years ago or so, that he will be prime minister for a long time, that he will have to fight all alone against 119 knesset members and that he should be strong, because this is the will of G-d, and that he will be the one to "hand the keys" to the messiah... Well, this message was said before Netanyahu was prime minister, when he was youngish. And now he is the longest serving prime minister in the history of modern Israel, even longer than Ben Gurion, and he fights so much opposition, from within and from without. If there are fourth elections soon, I'm going to vote for him this time. It's obvious that G-d is with him - perhaps because he is for a Jewish state, unlike those of the left, who want to give away parts of the land and make the state just like any other. I wasn't going to vote for him, but I realize that if we don't stand behind him, all of us, things will not be good, so there is no other choice. And if G-d chooses him, and prepares our minds for monarchy with our Bibi King, who am I to object? I'm going to flow with this plan. 

Anyway, I wrote a lot... time to end this... 

After Hanukkah is over, I think I will continue my little candle meditation - it's like having a short Shabbat in the middle of the weekdays, and it is rejuvenating for the mind. 

Happy Hanukkah! 

 

 

 

Modeh Ani...

 

I woke up very early this morning, at 4:30 am, to go to the bathroom. Because I have an early morning work meeting over Skype with someone in New Zealand today, I knew that even if I go back to sleep, I wouldn’t be able to. My brain would prepare me to be alert for the meeting and would not let me go back to sleep as in other nights. So I happily gave it up. I stayed in  bed and said the twelve words every religious Jew says first thing in the morning: I thank you, oh living and existing King, for having restored my soul into me in your compassion. Your faithfulness (in me) is great. Trust me, in Hebrew these are twelve words, and it is known as the Modeh Ani prayer. Before you do anything, before you even go out of bed – once you woke up and you know you start your day (unlike when you go back to sleep), you utter these words quietly. And then, because it was so early and I wasn’t in a rush, I contemplated these words. Basically, what they imply, is that each and every one of us here on this planet, are here on a mission. We were SENT here. We were not born here by accident. G-d equipped us with all the talents and inclinations that we have so that we can do the most in this life with them to serve Him, and to serve humanity the way He wants us to serve. And how do I know that? I mean, I’ve known this for a long time just by observing and contemplating life, but – how did I infer this from these words? The answer is very clear. This prayer states that G-d is the one who places the soul in our body, He is the one deciding whether to do it or not every morning (indeed, every moment) anew. Therefore, it is His desire that we will be here. And the last words, Your faithfulness (in me) is great, means that He has confidence in me that I would fulfill my mission. And if I don’t, if I procrastinate, if I’m lost, He does not lose His patience. He gives me one more chance, and another, and still another. Every day is a chance to start anew, to begin something good, to lay down the foundation for building something GREAT. What is it, what does He want us to do? The answer to that may lie in our dreams and hopes and wishes for ourselves. What is it that we want most to accomplish? What is it that we fantasize of doing with our lives? Is it to write movie scripts? Books? Is it to be kind to everyone around us and lift people up simply with our smile and words? Is it to cook the tastiest, healthiest food for our loved ones or as a business? Anything that we love doing and has value to others (and to ourselves) and is in alignment with what G-d wants of us, is the right answer, and can be a few of them.

Everyone wants to succeed in life, but very few people stop to think what success is. Is it making money? If so, would you define mafia people, drug dealers or manufacturers of cigarettes as successful? To me, they are a failure, because even though they make a lot of money, they do not serve humanity – they use their time and talents to harm humanity in order to benefit themselves. I believe the same goes for icecream manufacturers, and manufacturers of sweetened drinks like cola. Even if they later use portions of their fortune to benefit society – it does not change the fact that they made that fortune by contributing to ruining people’s health. I know someone who died of lung cancer at 40 some. This is not an outcome one should strive for, to harm people’s health.

So what is success, is it being famous? I think that people that become famous, let’s say sports stars, music starts, movie starts, etc., get an amazing platform that can help them influence the world. For example, in Israel, HaShem made it so that very secular singers and movie stars and journalists start to become religious. The process that they go affects their fans, and it makes society a lot more traditional and religious. So these people use their stardom for a beneficial purpose. But if I think of other stars, say like Amy Winehouse, a Jewish singer from England, with Tunisian roots, with an amazing, incredible voice – her flame went up too quickly, and was extinct too quickly. She was too young to figure out what to do with her fame, she fell to drugs and alcohol and died at the age of 27 while leaving beautiful songs, but she didn’t survive to use her stardom for beneficial purposes, to serve society. This is sad, and I know of people who didn’t use their stardom all of their lives, even when they lived till old age, to benefit society, and I think this is a miss. They missed the most important thing. I think the angst of emptiness that many stars feel once they reach fame comes from an inner place in their soul that is searching for meaning, and they do not know how to find it, so they lose their way. They do not look for ways to serve humanity, and this self-focus kills them. Many of them become suicidal, many fall to drugs and alcohol. But in reality – they have a great mission in life, if only they would open their eyes and realize that they were born to serve.

One could be a cashier at a supermarket, and do it very gracefully – smiling to the customers, asking about them, making them feel like they are seen – and this would constitute a great success, even without making a lot of money and without reaching fame. This would be a life of meaning, and it may even save a life or two of people who are very lonely and feel ignored by society.

Each of us, wherever we are positioned in life, should lead a life of service – of thinking how to benefit others. If we do, we will be happy, and the world will become a MUCH better place.

So, anyway, these thoughts came to me as I was reciting the Modeh Ani prayer, and I felt a sudden urge to sit down and write this here. I know I haven’t written in a long time…

One more happy thing that (I hope) emerged from today’s early waking is – I decided that I want to try to wake up early every morning (like 5 am), which means that I’ll start going to bed at around 8 or 9 pm at the latest, to get all the sleep I need. This would be so much healthier – to synchronize more with the sun, to spend more of the dark hours sleeping and more of the light hours awake. Also, I want to enjoy the magic of these morning hours – the special delicate light outside, the quiet all around, the clean air. I decided that if I have such magical mornings every day, I’ll try to dedicate 3-4 hours every morning to writing. Perhaps not writing here, but writing things that are meaningful to me and fulfil my dreams in this respect. It would make me so happy, because I’ve felt this burning urge to write since I was a child, and I haven’t done anything about it. I only wrote (in length) in my journals – detailing my thoughts, emotions, meaningful insights, etc. I hardly wrote other things for other people to read (except for this blog and letters to the community when I was a Shlicha in the US many years ago). I want to use this ability that I have to serve G-d, because He sent me here with this passion for writing, and I believe He wants me to serve Him and make an impact in the world through writing. We’ll see how it goes, but I think that having a morning routine is a must.

One more thought I wanted to share – I have this beautiful round window in my living room. When I lay down on my sofa just after I light the Shabbat candles (I light them on that window seal), I look at the window, and it shows me the sky, and some tree tops. Last Shabbat (Friday evening), just as I finished lighting the candles and saying a prayer, I was lying there, looking out that window at the sky, and HaShem orchestrated the most beautiful show for me to see. First, the sky changed colors, and it was so magnificent. Beautiful colors of red, pink, orange, gold – all on the background of the light blue sky and some feathery white clouds. Then there were countless birds. I’m not familiar with the kinds of birds, but some of them were crows. They were singing and flying in groups, and landing on the branches of a big palm tree that I can see from my window. It was just breathtaking and I was mesmerized, and thankful. It was so artistic, and magnificent, I don’t have enough words to describe it. I’m looking for next week’s post-candle-lighting Show. I feel humbled to merit to witness that.

Have a good week, Shavua Tov!

R.

Bereshit

 So last shabbat we started reading the Torah from the beginning again, from Bereshit. I read it at home, as I do not go to synagogues these days, and was so bothered by everything that was told there. 

As I was reading about Adam, Eve and the apple (it wasn't an apple, you know) I was thinking - first, how did the snake know that G-d told Adam not to eat from that tree, the Tree of Knowledge? What was the snake that gave him such knowledge, and why did he abuse that knowledge?

Second, I think it's the first time I realize that Eve never heard G-d's command not to eat of that tree directly. She only heard it from second hand from Adam. This fact in itself can be a cause for confusion. But I do not think it's a good enough excuse to get her off the hook. As I was reading the words in the Torah telling how she looked at the apple (let's call it an apple from now on just for simplicity's sake), and how she used her own judgement to decide whether it's good or bad, contrary to G-d's judgement of it as a fruit that is not good for her and Adam to eat - I felt furious. How could she?! What Hutzpah! And not only that, she also suggested it to stupid Adam, who heard that prohibition directly from G-d Himself. I know, yes, I know that we are all doing it in so many ways in different areas of our lives and I think that modern society does it big time (saying that certain things are legitimate and good when in fact G-d said they are not), but if only she were more humble, knowing that G-d's judgement is and forever will be far superior to her own, or to the snake's. And then how they diverted the blame from themselves, 'it was the woman YOU GAVE Me'. Adam doesn't only blame the woman, he blames G-d for giving him that woman. My gosh. 

And then the story with Cain and Abel - and the mystery of what Cain told Abel in the field. Readers of translations miss something very dramatic that appears only in the Hebrew text: when the Torah says that Cain spoke to Abel, the text says: "And Cain spoke unto Abel his brother", and then there is a big empty space before the next verse. It's like the Torah omits the words spoken by Cain, but does not obliterate the space they take. The space is there, but the words are missing. This is very mysterious and I was wondering to myself, first - why didn't the Torah tell us what were the words spoken by Cain, and second, why did it make it a point to leave a blank space in place of those words? A mystery. I still have to think about it, I'm not sure I have a good enough suggestion for this mystery. 

And then for the first time in my life I realized that Cain was not all bad - he actually repented for his sin, he acknowledged the gravity of his sin and regretted it, so much so that G-d put a special protecting sign on him, to make sure no one will kill him in retaliation. This shows that if we repent, no matter how grave our sins are, G-d accepts us and loves us. Anyway, it is also interesting to note that the seed of Cain, all his descendants, died eventually in the flood. How do I know it? Because the only people surviving the flood were Noah and his family, and Noah came from Cain's younger brother, Seth. But who knows, perhaps Noah's wife came from the seed of Cain? G-d knows. 

Anyway, one more interesting insight, not sure it's mine, I think I read it somewhere, is that Lemech, one of the descendants of Cain, called his sons with names that are with the same root letters as Abel. Yaval, Yuval, Tuval Cain. Interesting. I think this in itself also shows how deep Cain's regret and repentance were, if even his descendants call their children by names reminiscent of Abel. 

Today, back then, it was Succot. 

Human impact

I wrote here a few weeks ago about a person who has some kind of developmental delay/mental problems, that has been hospitalized for many long months with diabetes. I sometimes go to visit him, talk with him, try to make him happy. A few weeks ago one of his legs was amputated, and last week the other leg was amputated. The first amputation was really hard for him to accept, mentally and emotionally, but he got over it and the second amputation was easier for him to accept and emotionally process. When I visited him he was smiling, joking, and was mentally clear some of the time, which was very encouraging for me to see. 

So in the past few days I went to visit him at the hospital again. He was supposed to be released yesterday, but the staff decided to wait a few more days and since he is all alone there most of the time, someone needed to go there so I went - I went last week and I went again today. When I did, I had my recorder with me, and I played for him some music. He is a Haredi person, so I played all the religious songs that I know, plus a few Israeli classics like Naomi Shemer's songs, and more. He was singing with the recorder, and it was nice to see him like this. 

Now it is the 7 day holiday of Succot (Feast of Tabernacles), so I have these days off work, and I'm free to do as I please. So today I went there again to visit him, and after I fed him, the nurses told me that he has to go to another floor of the hospital (Hadassah Ein Karem) to go through dialysis. I have often heard this word, dialysis, but I never bothered to learn what it really was. I only knew that it was some procedure that is done to people who have renal failure - problem with their kidneys. So I asked them if I could go with him, and they joyously said: Yes! 

I went with him. It was a large room with many sofas, and on each sofa there was one person lying down, covered with blankets and freezing, usually closing their eyes. It seemed very serene and peaceful so I realized it does not hurt them, it does not cause them pain. The staff there guided us to a certain spot (no sofa, he came with his hospital bed) and after they connected him to some tubes, the process began. The tubes soon filled with blood, his blood, and I realized that all of his blood is being extracted from his body, purified in the dialysis machine, and then returned to his body again. The machine purifies the blood and replaces the function of the kidneys. I am thankful now even more than before to have working kidneys. I realized that such people cannot travel because they have to go to the hospital three or four times a week to do that, each time for 3-4 hours. They are not free in this sense. 

So the process started and I realized it was going to take a long time. After talking with him and laughing with him a bit, I took out my recorder and started playing (after asking permission from the staff, of course). I realized everyone there enjoyed it - patients, their family members and the staff. It was a refreshing change there, I guess. After playing for him for some time, I started moving around between the other patients and talking with them, then playing to them songs that they asked for, etc. 

After a while I came across one lady who was lying pale in bed, not in a sofa, and looking half dead. I talked with her and realized that she came from the same department as 'my' patient. We talked, but I didn't expect this talk to last for more than two sentences, because she really seemed half not-there anymore. But she surprised me deeply when she started talking and talking and telling me the whole story of her life. I think I spent close to two hours with her. She is very fair skinned, with blue eyes, but she told me that she speaks Farsi, the language they speak in Iran. How come? Before the revolution, she and her Iranian born husband lived there with their children for 8 years, and her husband was employed as a dentistry professor at a local university. She was an interesting person to talk to. After talking so much, I played for her some music and she was so happy with it. She asked for this song and that song. Then I left her, returned to 'my' patient who was lying quietly in his bed, and played to him. Then she called me back to tell me something. I went to her again and she said: "A few days ago I heard someone playing the recorder up in the department, now I realize it was you. You play very nicely. You should know that on that day, two people in the adjacent room to mine were arguing and quarreling loudly for a long time, but as soon as you started playing, they fell silent and stopped fighting completely". She was very serious and honest, and too weak to make up stories, so I know she was telling the truth and didn't just try to make me feel good. It made me so happy. 

I wrote here about my Rosh HaShanah experience - how a random woman in the street unknowingly led me to a place that later helped me find my way to the Kotel. She had no idea of the impact her very existence had on my Rosh HaShanah experience. What the lady told me today is an example of something similar - sometimes you go somewhere, you do something, and you assume that aside of that which your eyes can see there is no other impact to anything you do. So if you go to play to people, their immediate reaction is all you see and that's it, but perhaps, just perhaps, the story does not end there, and the impact of what you do goes further than what you think. I was so so happy to hear what she said, really, it is something I hope I'll remember. It is worthwhile to remember. 

Something else that happened in this context - I was at the hospital also on Shabbat. One secular lady who visited her family member and had seen me playing a couple of days earlier asked me, innocently, with a smile, 'What, no music today?' I told her that I do not violate Shabbat. This is a pun in Hebrew, a game of words, because the word for desecrating the Shabbat is Lekhalel, and the word for playing the recorder is also Lekhalel. So we laughed at the pun, but then she wanted to hear why playing the recorder is a violation of Shabbat. I explained to the best of my ability, explaining the difference between the written Law and the oral Law, and how we are committed to observe both. This led to more questions and more answers and to a whole discussion in which I told her that the proof that the Torah is true is the fact that she and I stand here, in Jerusalem, each of us having a Hebrew name and we speak to each other in our ancient ancestral language after not being here in our land for 2,000 years, her ancestors returning here from one end of the globe while mine from another. I don't know what would the impact of this talk be, but I think I left her with some food for thought, and another great thing was that this conversation was taking place in front of a secular nurse, and... who knows. We do things, and we cannot imagine the impact they have down the road.

When she referred to the oral law and the rabbis commentaries of the commandments, she said it is like a 'broken phone' - things not passing well enough between the generations, but I immediately replied, with passion, that it is not like a broken phone at all - it is like a relay race in which each 'runner' (each generation) passes the burning torch to the next runner, and the proof is that the torch is still burning! The fact is that after 2,000 years, we still keep all parts of the law - the written and the oral ones.

I also told her that the Torah is like poetry, not like prose. Unlike in prose, in which you can use as many words as you want and there are no limitations, in poetry every word is well thought of, the space is limited and each word and phrase have several layers of meaning. It is as poetry that the Torah should be read and interpreted and even Moses refers to it as 'this book of poetry'. I hope it would help her start to investigate. 

So now is the holiday of Succot, the Feast of Tabernacles. It is a beautiful holiday that I remember from my childhood. My father used to always build a sweet, cosy Succah (booth) for us to eat and spend time in. We decorated it and it was so much fun. We then did succha-hopping between the different succot of our friends and each friend showed off their cool nice succah. It was so nice. I still remember how my dad made holes in the ground to stick the wooden planks in. I still remember these wooden planks of our succah, their texture, their feel when I touched them, their size, the holes they had in them on their smooth-rough surface. I miss having a succah. I haven't had a succah since, even though I visited and ate at many. 

This year, because of the coronavirus pandemic, the whole atmosphere is less festive and colorful, but still, you see a lot of Succahs and it makes me happy. Some succahs are public, so yesterday I took my computer and wrote there some thoughts and insights in some special files that I keep on my computer. It was in the French Hill, which I love. It was nice. I love the French Hill and would like to live there. 

The universities in Israel decided to have the whole school year online - not physically on campus. I thought to myself that if only the library would be open, I would be happy, because I love the Mt. Scopus campus, I felt at home there from the first time I set foot there, there is something there that has always felt like home to me, and it would be nice to have it almost all to myself, with a few more people using the library. So I called the library, expecting no one to pick up the phone, but surprisingly, someone did. They said that currently, they have no idea how things are going to turn out, and that at the moment the library is closed to visitors - and that I should call again in a few weeks, once the picture gets clearer. I wouldn't mind being there 2-3 days a week, working on my projects and my regular work. I work from home anyway, so I can work from anywhere I want - and I just love this campus. My favorite synagogue in the whole world is there. There is such a spiritual atmosphere there, I can just sit there for hours, breathe, connect to HaShem, and be. Unfortunately, the synagogue there is also closed these days. I wish I could have this whole campus for myself, with a few other people so that it won't be too empty, but not too many of them, so it won't be too crowded, and I wish I could sit in that synagogue alone for a few hours, just looking at the view, breathing the air, praying. Maybe one day. 

Rosh HaShanah 2020

 So I woke up one day about a week or two ago from a dream that seemed SO real, but SO foreign to my 'real' life, my physical reality. In the dream I was sitting hunched over on a bed, all sweaty, struggling to breathe, feeling as if my airways are blocked, heatwaves washing all over me. It was so real, I remember how it felt. I felt so sick in the dream, it was true hell. 

And then I woke up and realized that none of this is my reality, thank G-d. When I woke up I wasn't sweating, and it was so natural and easy to breathe. Thank G-d, really! I then realized that what I experienced in my dream was probably similar to what many serious coronavirus patients experience. It just occurred to me that I dreamed what it is to be seriously sick with corona. It was really bad. 

I'm thinking a lot about the meaning of this pandemic - what does G-d want of us, what is He trying to tell us, to convey to us. I still do not have a definite answer, I do not think that anybody has. But - we can guess and conjecture. So my guess is that it causes people to stop worshiping their "gods of gold and silver" and turn to G-d. That is, people have lost their jobs, their financial security, their health - everything they used to take for granted, everything they thought they had control over. It is like the rug was pulled away from under their feet and they stay floating in the air, with nothing tangible to hold onto. So the only thing left for them to do is to cling to G-d. 

And why is that? Why now of all times?

I think that any moment in time is the right moment in time for humanity to rediscover G-d, but I think that perhaps it is happening now because G-d is preparing something really good and great for humanity to enjoy - and He wants us to be ready for that, to be prepared for that, to make "vessels" for that - to be able to absorb the blessings. 

What do I mean?

I'll start with an example. In the 1967 Six-Day-War we experienced a miracle greater than any (I say "we" even though my soul was not living in a body on this earth at that time, but I feel as if this miracle happened to me too). A tiny nation of recent immigrants and holocaust survivors prevailed in a war against mighty Arab armies determined to annihilate it. G-d's hand was truly visible in it. BUT - many of the people here attributed this miraculous victory to... themselves. To the IDF. To luck. To anything but G-d. It started a time of hubris, of excessive pride and arrogance. We had no "vessels" to absorb the blessing that G-d gave us. And we spilled it. Soon, few years later, a horrible war started, the 1973 Yom Kippur War, in which my father was badly wounded and a few years later died. Too many soldiers lost their lives or were badly wounded. This was the result. Had we acknowledged as a nation that the huge miracle of 1967 was truly from G-d, we would not have given the key to the Temple Mount to the Muslims (Moshe Dayan did this and I'm sure his soul is in deep grief over it now, wherever it is) and we wouldn't have done other wrong political decisions. Anyway - so G-d wanted to give us something great, but we were not prepared, and as a result, we lost it. 

Back to our days - G-d wants to give us something great, but we have to acknowledge that it is all Him, not us, who do it. We have recently witnessed the unbelievable development in international relations in which Arab countries like Qatar and Bahrein signed peace contracts with Israel and are soon going to open their embassies here. Other Muslim countries expressed interest (I heard that Sudan and Tunisia are on their ways to sign). It is absolutely incredible. The vision of a true, complete peace that we've carried in our hearts for ever is soon to be materialized, but are we ready for it? Are we going to thank G-d for it or attribute it to ourselves, to Bibi, to chance? 

I feel that by sending us the coronavirus, G-d is knocking on our door, the door of our hearts, and asking us to acknowledge Him and His doing, so that when all the good that He plans for us (and for the world) will materialize, we will have our "vessels" ready to receive it. We will be able to play our part in the vision of the final redemption. 

---

This Rosh Hashana Israel was under lock-down. And yet, I managed to find myself in the most amazing place in the world. We were not allowed to visit family or friends if they didn't live within 1 km from us, so most people stayed at home, which was the intention of the lockdown. I visited an old, 95 year old lady in a Haredi neighborhood who lives about 1 km from where I live. Her family couldn't be with her because they live far away and they didn't want to leave her alone, she needs people with her. So I stayed with her for the two days of Rosh HaShanah. I didn't know any synagogues in her neighborhood, so as I was walking out, trying to find a place to pray, I saw a young woman with a prayer book in her hand. I naturally followed her, assuming that she was going to a synagogue. I thought she would walk just one block or two but she was walking on and on, and it allowed me to see parts of that neighborhood that I had never seen before. I grew curious and decided to go all the way to the synagogue she was going to, no matter how far, and enjoy seeing the unfamiliar streets. After what I think was two kilometers or so, she turned right, and I turned right after her. She turned right again and went into... a residential building... not to a synagogue... All this walk - for nothing... or so I thought. I quickly found a synagogue near by and prayed. 

The following day, I was still staying with that old lady in that same Haredi neighborhood - I went out and found a synagogue near her home, but it didn't have the right atmosphere for me, so I left and looked for another synagogue. I started walking that same road that the young lady walked the previous night and got curious to walk even further and explore other parts of the neighborhood. As I did so, I realized that I was very close to road no. 1 that if I follow it, will take me to the Western Wall. In a moment of adventurous mood and a desire to leave that Haredi atmosphere in favor of something that is more 'mine', more my type of Jerusalem - I decided to walk to the Kotel. The walk was so amazing - the streets were empty, and I was able to absorb some of the holiday atmosphere. I knew that I would meet police people who will ask me where I live and will judge what to do with me based on that, but I decided it is worth the risk. I reached the area before the Jaffa Gate. The gate was locked - I think it's the first time that I see it locked. But there was an entrance way and I walked in. 

Sure enough, a policeman asked me where I was going and I said the Kotel. He asked me where I lived. If I had told him my address, they wouldn't allow me to go, and may even fine me. So I said the truth - that I'm not coming from my home, that I'm visiting an old lady who has some dementia on Shmuel Hanavi St., and that I wanted to pray at the Kotel. He asked me where that street was. Gladly, he wasn't from Jerusalem, so he didn't know it was more than 1 km away. I pointed to the direction where it was. He didn't bother checking the distance online. I saw that he was looking at me, realizing that I'm 'a good girl' kind of person, and just allowed me in. That was it. I was SO happy! I walked to the Kotel through the Jewish Quarter, to absorb more and more of the sanctity and holiday atmosphere and was elated when I arrived at the Kotel. There were very few people and the area just before it was divided into small chambers, but I was privileged to be near the stones, have them all for myself and pray. I was so so happy and felt so privileged, as if HaShem welcomed me into His home. I just spread my arms and "hugged" the stones for a long time, leaning my face, my body against them, trying to absorb whatever sanctity I could through them. The shofar was blowing from the men's section and later form nearby balconies. Birds were flying above my head. It was so magical. A few other people were there as well and I wondered what did I do to merit being there then, and what did they do to merit it. It felt very special. After absorbing the energy and holiday atmosphere there, I started praying, and it was so wonderful. It gave me so much energy. I was reluctant to go back to the Haredi neighborhood but I knew she was waiting for me, so after 2 or so hours I left. 

So - the young lady who was walking in the Haredi neighborhood the previous day and unknowingly guided me to a certain part of her neighborhood served as an unaware messenger of G-d to show me the way to get closer to the Kotel. It is thanks to her that I went to the Kotel and had the most elating experience which redeemed the holiday for me. Sometimes people do not know how they affect other people by just existing in the world, by just walking from place A to place B, by just being. Thanks to her going to a residential building in her neighborhood, I merited to go to the Kotel under lockdown in Rosh HaShanah. I find this very powerful. We have no idea how simple things we do affect other people. 

Anyway, may this be a good, happy year for all. May we merit to live the full redemption soon!

Shana Tova,

R.

Rabbi Adin Steinzaltz Z"L

Today came the sad news that one of the most beloved rabbis of our times, Rabbi Adin Even-Israel Steinsaltz, passed away. He was hospitalized for a few months with pneumonia at the Shaarei Tzeddek hospital in Jerusalem (not related to corona) and passed away today at the age of 83. Rabbi Steinsaltz wrote a translation and commentary of the Talmud, and made that great work of the Jewish people accessible to almost everyone who wants to learn it. He also wrote many other commentaries and also different kinds of books ("the 13 petalled rose" is one of them, which I read and liked). He was very sweet, "eidel", a real mentch. 

He grew up in a secular family in Jerusalem, went to the Hebrew University of Jerusalem to study, and gradually became religious, hassidic. Even when he rose to greatness, he stayed simple and humble and told people that he really misses just being a simple person without the fuss that happens around him everywhere, and just wearing jeans. I can sympathize with the jeans part of this sentence.

Anyway, I think that he was there all the past weeks that I was there on Shabbats, and I didn't know, and I couldn't know where exactly he was, but if I had gone from bed to bed to ask if people needed help, like I do in normal (non-corona) times, I might have found him. I just feel that at such times, even though I wear a mask, perhaps I shouldn't be going from one patient to the other, but better stick with one patient. Anyway, it makes me think that perhaps this Shabbat I should try to gently go from room to room just to see if anyone else needs something. 

It is sad that he died and at such an age. 83 today is not so old and there are people who climb mountains at this age. My Italian teacher at highschool told us that her father, at the age of 83, was doing long bicycle rides everywhere in Europe, including mountain ranges, so it is absolutely possible. It depends on the lifestyle we lead before we get to such an age. I think that people who sit a lot and don't move much may lose their health, and also people who eat a lot (which is most of the population - people who just eat because they think it's right to eat three meals a day or they eat because they feel like eating even when they are not hungry). Anyway, a huge intellectual like Steinsaltz probably didn't spend time working out, and I wish people realize that working out, going for walks, jogging, all these things - are a must. They don't waste your time. They buy your body more time of health in the future. And these days, when you can listen to lectures on your smartphone, you can nourish your mind at the same time that you take care of your body. Yesterday I did a 3 hour walk around the hilly streets of Jerusalem, and I listened to lectures on my smartphone so it didn't feel it was like a waste of time. I was exhausted later and fell asleep very quickly and slept a lot. But it's good for the body to work out. 

Anyway, what's even more sad for me is that such a spiritual giant like him had to spend time at a hospital - to let his body control his situation. A man that was all spirit, suddenly had to be all body and let his body dictate where he is and what he does. It's sad for me to think that nurses had to take care of his body, even the most basic functions. I often look at patients at hospitals and I feel this is so humiliating for human dignity - to be lying on a bed and let strangers take care of your body, even its most basic needs. I really implore everyone - please do your best to take good care of your body, so that the day won't arrive that others have to do it for you. Yes, of course, people can take the best care of their body and still find themselves in that situation, I mean, if G-d decides that this is what a person must go through, then that person will go through it no matter how hard he tries to stay healthy, and if someone is already in that situation, they must realize that G-d is with them in it and just cling to that knowing. But whatever degrees of freedom we have in our ability to take care of our health in a preventative way - we are obligated to do our best to stay away from the hospital. 

We experience so much internal strife these days between those who love the Torah and want Israel to be a Jewish state and those few who do not want anything to do with Judaism, the Bible, Torah, anything - those few want to be super secular like Europe and they adopt secular European values as their creed. Their opposition to Netanyahu has nothing to do with the man himself. Sure enough, this man is not the Messiah, you can find faults in him, but this is not the real reason for their opposition, this is only the excuse, a disguise, because they are not super-righteous either, neither are their leaders. The question is not the man. The question is the identity of our country. It is an opposition to what this man stands for - national Jewish identity. He is not religious, but he is the leader of the political camp that wants this country to be Jewish, whereas they, consciously or unconsciously, don't want it. They are willing to give away parts of our G-d given land to our enemies, and this is the only way they think there will ever be peace. Some of them denigrate the state symbols (that are really religious symbols) like the Menorah, the flag, etc. Most of them are Ashkanazis, people whose roots are in Europe and who grew up with the influence of European culture in their homes - the reverence for human intelligence, the desire to be considered intelligent and intellectual by everyone around them. And there are also Sepharadi Jews who join them in these values and want to show that they are superior too, especially the intellectuals among them. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be an intellectual, except that it causes most of them to feel threatened by spirituality and tradition, because they don't want to be considered stupid and gullible, easy to be impressed and manipulated by the masses. This is where I have a problem with them. Yes, I have respect for human intellect too, but I know that it is nothing in comparison to the eternal infinite wisdom of our Creator. And it doesn't make me feel stupid to believe. To the contrary. I feel so much divine guidance in my life - I feel that G-d is guiding me and speaking to me all the time. I'm not sure I'm such a good student at understanding what He is saying all the time, but at least some of the times I do understand and I find that such guidance is really a life-giving gift. I ask questions in my heart, and the answers come (often quickly) in such amazing ways that I could never have thought of by myself, and when I follow these answers, I realize I was saved from really unpleasant situations. Really thank G-d for that, and I'm so sorry for my Jewish brothers and sisters who give all of this richness of wisdom up and stick instead to limited human knowledge and wisdom. This is really not a fair trade. 

They are our brothers, yet it feels like when they discard faith, they become our enemies from within, and such examples are abundant also in the Bible. It breaks my heart. So so sad. Most of them grew up in secular homes - but their secular grandparents had at least SOME respect and love to our tradition and heritage. I'm sure those grandparents would be appalled had they seen what their grandchildren are doing and saying these days. When a Jew decides to leave the Torah and the faith-based way of life - they have no idea what detrimental effects it may have on their children, grandchildren and future generations. It is horrible. 

I think, though, that G-d is placing in every secular family at least one person who makes Teshuvah (repents and rediscovers G-d and the world of Torah) and this way every secular family has at least one religious person, one traditional person or simply a spiritual person who is aware of the presence of G-d. By doing this, there is an ongoing effect that counteracts that horrible phenomenon of anti-Jewish Jews and each family is forced to learn about Judaism through that one spiritual person that is placed among them, that was born to them. 

One more thing that G-d is doing, which I like a lot, is that He inspires many of our artists (especially musicians and singers, but not only) to rediscover Him and Torah, they make Teshuvah, become religious and it starts appearing in their amazing songs - and then everyone sings and hums their faith-filled songs, and it subconsciously affects large layers of the population. He does this also with journalists (Sivan Rahav Meir, Tzvi Yehezkely and Yair Raveh are just a few exmples). They are the ones who shape public opinions, they grew up in super-secular families and they suddenly discover Torah and gradually become religious and then others learn about G-d and Torah through them. 

So, even though the situation at the moment is not so pretty, even scary at times, and even though I feel sad about it - I don't worry. I know that everyone, including the worst of the worst among us like those who denigrate our religious symbols in public, will one day make Teshuvah - and if not them - then their children or grandchildren. All of the people of Israel will return to the fold and there are HUGE waves of Teshuvah already throughout the country. I do what I think I can do to help these waves, including affecting my immediate family, but I also enjoy every time anew discovering yet another celebrity who stops performing and working on Shabbat in order to be at home with their kids, to do Kiddush and observe Shabbat (Rami Kleinstein is just one such example, the least unlikely person to ever do anything like this). 

This week's Torah Portion is that of Ekev (Deuteronomy 7:12 - 11:21). I love the book of Devarim (Deuteronomy). There is so much faith and morality there. I can write a whole post about each and every verse in this book. It is so rich. And so relevant to our days. Moses tells us just before he dies and just before we enter the Promised Land: 

"Beware lest thou forget the LORD thy God, in not keeping His commandments, and His ordinances, and His statutes, which I command thee this day; lest when thou hast eaten and art satisfied, and hast built goodly houses, and dwelt therein; and when thy herds and thy flocks multiply, and thy silver and thy gold is multiplied, and all that thou hast is multiplied; then thy heart be lifted up, and thou forget the LORD thy God, who brought thee forth out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage... and thou say in thy heart: 'My power and the might of my hand hath gotten me this wealth.'" 

So ironic that so many of our erring brothers and sisters not only forgot that G-d brought us out of all the exiles we were scattered in, they are the ones who leave our country and GO BACK willingly to live in... in Berlin, of all places, the Egypt of our times. I have a friend who did it - and she lives there, in Berlin, and always talks negatively about religion. It is so sad. But in every darkness there is a silver lining. I know a man who in his younger years did just that - left Israel to live as an artist, a musician, in Berlin. There he met a beautiful German girl and they moved in together. One day she asked him to take her to a synagogue, to see what it is like. He didn't want to. It was unacceptable for him, to be confronted with his "primitive" Jewish identity, but she was really curious and so they went. One thing led to another, and at the end of a journey she decided to convert to Judaism (orthodox), he became very religious (black kippah), they got married, moved back to Israel, he left his artistic occupation and he now studies Torah at a Bet Midrash every day. He is very short and dark, she is very tall and fair, they have six beautiful children, all studying in religious schools. Her German parents and siblings come to visit them here, in Jerusalem, and get to experience gorgeous Shabbat meals at their table. They live in a beautiful big villa in my neighborhood. She is a family doctor and speaks Hebrew very well, and it seems like they are very happy. So there are stories like this too. It seems like he had to go to Germany, to find her and help her find her way to Judaism and Israel, where she belongs. As I said, everyone will eventually return home to G-d, but for some it will be now and for others it will be in future generations. 

If you read the Portion, you'll see that G-d makes conditions with us: IF we observe His commandments, we will merit to have the Land of Israel, if not - we will lose it, because it is not a normal land like that of Egypt, for example. G-d's eyes are always scanning and watching our land. If we follow His commandments, we will be blessed, and if not - we won't, and we may lose our land. So most of the Jews living here love G-d, believe in Him, talk about Him and keep thinking of Him. And this is the path to redemption. I believe that the few who go against us will repent and return to the fold too. 

This post was written with the beautiful songs of Joe Dassin in the background. I love his voice and the way he presents the songs, some of them are really touching, like "et si to n'existais pas", "salut", "l'ete indien". 

Shabbat Shalom,

Moi

Shtisel, Japan, and more...

Yesterday something really nice happened. Really, like magic.
I wrote here a while ago about three acquaintances of mine, Japanese (one woman and a married couple). They are here in Israel (the single woman works for the UN in Gaza and the married man works for some NGO that helps third world countries and he is here in Israel to help the Arabs who live in the disputed territories). All three of them are pro-Arab, but the single lady is really anti-Israel. I try to ignore that when I meet them or when they communicate with me and I give them a lot of love, just for being humans. G-d created them, just like He created me, and He loves them dearly, I'm sure. It is not hard to like them, they are very likable, I just ignore the political issues and that's it.
Anyway, the single lady came to my place in my previous neighborhood three years ago, and had a Shabbat meal with me and another friend. She met with me a few more times to her request, with another friend of hers who works in Gaza, because they had many questions to ask about Israel (most of them were political questions, but I managed to answer and stay friendly without feeling attacked).
Anyway, fast forward to our times now. Two months ago I got a surprise WhatsApp message on my phone from her. She is in Jerusalem, she said, and has been stuck here for a while due to the coronavirus (it was at the time of the lockdown here, which prevented her from going to Gaza or anywhere else). She said that she and two of her friends (the married couple) watched the successful Israeli TV series, Shtisel, on Netflix (it has Japanese subtitles, apparently, which is quite amazing to me), and they fell in love with the series and have millions of questions to ask about Judaism. Do I want to meet them? Of course I do - to talk about anything but politics. So we met, and they asked so many questions, and I could see in their eyes, especially in the man's eyes, how passionate they were about this series and how they glow when they talk about it. So I answered their questions to the best of my ability and later sent the woman some more info in writing by WhatsApp. She then created a group on WhatsApp for the four of us and named it "Shtisel". There we continued our discussion in group and it was sweet.
Last week I got a message from her on our Shtisel WhatsApp group saying that since she cannot go back to Gaza, she wants to leave for Japan and is it OK if all four of us meet to do a tour together in Me'ah She'arim and Ge'ulah, the areas in which the series is located? I said yes. We wore our masks and went there last Monday.
They had many questions, not all of which I could answer because I am not Haredi, and didn't grow up in such a culture. But I turned to the Haredi passers-by in Me'ah She'arim (women AND men), and asked them the questions that I didn't have an answer to (many questions regarding clothes, hats, robes, etc.). My Japanese friends were so surprised to see that everyone that I asked replied to me warmly and with a shy smile, yes, even men. They elaborated, gave a lot of information and some even suggested that I should show my friends this or that. It was evident that the Haredis enjoyed this attention, which is truly surprising, even to me. It was heart warming and nice, and my friends later commented about it and said that their image totally changed about who the Haredi were.
I took them to a restaurant in Ge'ula. The restaurant is called... Shtisel. This is the place where the creators of this TV series had a meeting to discuss the idea for a new TV series about the Haredi world, and when they sat there and ate, they decided to name that series after the restaurant, and this is how the name Shtisel was decided upon. It was in the Israeli media, but of course foreigners have no way of knowing it, so it was exciting for them to find out.
We went in, the person at the counter was very friendly, he just couldn't speak English, so I was the interpreter between them. We sat at a table (the restaurant looks similar to the restaurant Anshin in the series). We ordered a plate with selected dishes and ate. They were so moved and excited to be there and took many pictures. I was happy that I could give them this experience and I'm sure they will return there again some day on their own.
And then the single Japanese lady left Israel for Japan last weekend, while the husband and wife (both in their mid-thirties) stayed here and are going to stay here for a while. I was a bit surprised by the lady's leave for Japan and the way she put it ("If I can't go to Gaza, I'll go back to Japan", even though she can work in UNRWA in Jerusalem and she has nothing to do in Japan right now professionally). I felt it was like a little protest - she is so anti-Israeli, then why should she stay here if she cannot go to Gaza... But I didn't say anything. She left.
A few days after she left, a message was forwarded in another WhatsApp group that I'm a member of. It's a large group of people who live in Jerusalem and it is a general-purpose group. The message that was forwarded in the group by someone that I don't even know said that this coming Thursday, July 23rd (yesterday) there is going to be a filming of the TV series Shtisel somewhere near the Shuk and they are looking for "extras" (people to sit in the background of the scene, not professional actors). The scene is going to be taking place in a bar, and they are looking for young, secular Jerusalemites between the ages of 22-30 to sit in the background, with preference to people with piercings, tatoos, etc. There was a phone number to contact. I immediately thought of that Japanese married couple and how much they love Shtisel and how amazing it would be for them to participate as extras, but... they are not Jerusalemites and with their beautiful Asian faces they cannot fool anyone to think they are Israelis. Also, they are not in the age group, they're a bit older, and - they look like 'good kids', far from looking like the rough, wild type of people with tattoos etc. that the production was looking for. Still, I forwarded the message to them (translated, of course). They didn't think they fit the type-cast so they were not enthusiastic about contacting the number I gave them, but they were eager to be there and view the filming from the sidelines and can we go together? I told them I would love to see the filming too, but I don't know the exact location near the shuk or if they allow passersby to watch. Still, I suggested to them that they may be accepted as extras - perhaps as Japanese tourists who sit in the bar. So they cautiously contacted the person from the production, but there was no answer, until yesterday at 5 pm (the time that the filming was supposed to begin).
I then contacted that person myself and asked if there are any people who didn't show up in the last minute, perhaps my friends can come in their place. I said that for them it would be a dream they haven't even dared dreaming and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to do something like that. I stressed that they are very passionate about the series and it would make them very happy to participate, and I sent them a picture of the couple from our visit to the Shtisel restaurant. I suggested that they could pass in that scene as tourists sitting in the Shtisel restaurant. I didn't expect to get any answer, but after 30 minutes or so I did... The person said that he cannot promise anything, but he will ask the other members of the production team if it is anything that could work. I asked him to not give the answer directly to me, but to them, so that it would make them happy and they would not know I was pulling the strings behind the curtain, so to speak. He wrote to me in reply (and also wrote to them) that they should keep their expectations very low, because this was not part of the original plan, etc.
In the meantime I prayed for them to get this opportunity, and I also prayed that no harm will be done to anyone as a result (still, these are corona days...), and only if HaShem wants it may it happen, etc. At around 7 pm I already lost hope (the filming was scheduled to be from 5 pm to 11 pm, and it was already 7...). I thought it would have been nice if at least we could go there and see the filming from the outside but I didn't know the exact location (plus, they usually close such arenas so that outside people won't get in). At around 8 pm a picture from the Japanese man landed in our Shtisel WhatsApp group. It was a picture of the technical team of the Shtisel production dealing with the equipment. My acquaintance took it and wrote: "We are here and we will most probably participate as Japanese tourists in the scene". I just couldn't believe it. Just the fact that the production gave them the location's address and allowed them to be there and see the filming - that in itself was very very exciting, and now they were saying that they may be able to participate, even though it wasn't planned and wasn't part of the script because it was supposed to be a local Israeli bar, etc. A few more hours passed and our WhatsApp group was quiet. Then, the next thing we heard from them was when they sent us two pictures of themselves, each one with one famous actor, a star, of the Shtisel cast (the actress who plays Ghittie and the actor who plays her husband. It was a scene with both of these characters that was filmed in the bar). My friends were sitting close to the actors, and smiling so excitedly in the pictures, a dream came true for them and I was so so happy and thankful for being able to be a channel for something like this for them. They also said that the actress who plays Ghittie (Neta Riskin) took a short video with them on her smartphone and wants to post it on social media. Quite amazing.
Needless to say, I was so grateful and I kept thanking HaShem for this amazing thing that He did, and still kept praying that no one would be harmed with Corona due to this - that no one will get contaminate or contaminate others which may be dangerous for people down the line. I hope my prayer was answered. I went out for a 3 hour walk in the hilly neighborhoods of Jerusalem because I felt so much energy and excitement following that, I couldn't stay put in one place. It was a very happy day.

And now for the spiritual dimension of this whole event:
A couple of years ago I did something nice for somebody I didn't know, a complete stranger. As a direct result of that, a few months later I was invited to join a certain WhatsApp group of Jerusalemite people, a general purpose group in which people help each other in different ways. I joined, and now, fast-forward two or three years, I got this message about Shtisel through this group. That is, one little act of kindness caused the next big act of kindness - through it I could help the Japanese couple find their way to being extras in their favorite TV series (yes, they participated as extras finally and will probably appear in the series in that scene when season 3 comes out to Netflix).
One more thing: when I got their pictures from the filming arena and saw their excitement I told them that G-d loves them. The husband then said, "Yes, it was truly a miracle". So even though they don't believe in G-d, because they were not raised this way, G-d knows them and loves them and He orchestrated this whole thing for them. I hope it would help to open their eyes and hearts to G-d. Why do I think G-d orchestrated this for them? Because this is the first time in my life to get any message that any production is looking for extras in TV shows, and of all possible TV series and movies out there, it was specifically for Shtisel, their favorite series, that extras were needed. Not only that, the scene was to be filmed in Jerusalem. Not only that, it came a week after we went together to Ge'ulah and ate at the Shtisel restaurant there. Not only that - the scene they were filming was at a bar. Where else would a Japanese extra find a place in a TV series like Shtisel? It had to be something like a bar or a beach or something. All the extras in Shtisel in the previous two seasons were true Haredi people who were recruited by a Haredi recruiter. This is the only scene I can think of that could have had some use for foreigners (and foreigner that look like foreigners!). I wish they would film a chapter about converts, and then yes, of course there is room for foreign looking actors. Maybe I can suggest that to the Shtisel people one day.
Anyway, so it was all perfect and in perfect timing (except for the corona, of course), but I felt that perhaps G-d wants this for them, so I intervened and contacted the person in the ad to give them a chance to be there and get in (at the very last minute). So it was another proof of G-d loving them and wanting good for them.
Lastly, their other friend (the lady who returned defiantly to Japan because she couldn't go back to Gaza) is still with us on that WhatsApp group, and she said she was sorry for leaving. I'm sure she was full of regrets for leaving. Had she not left, she would have enjoyed that experience too. But she is so anti-Israel, that she decided to leave. And she lost. "Those who will bless you, I will bless..." She did something to show her dislike of Israel, and lost a once in a life time opportunity to experience something like this in her favorite show. I like her, and I'm sure G-d loves her, but I think here is a lesson for her to learn. I just don't think she's the type of person who would be willing to understand or learn such a lesson.

Anyway, this is my exciting story for this week.
Wishing you Shabbat Shalom!
R.

I want to put their pictures with the actors here, I know for them it would be OK, but I'm not sure it is ethically OK to do it after telling the whole story, so I will avoid it for now, but here is the picture from behind-the-scenes that they sent me. Anyway, you will probably see them in that episode when season 3 comes out:

Love and more

So the past few weeks I've been visiting a sick man that I wrote about in one of my previous posts here. I've known him for about a year and a half now. He has had some complications of diabetes, for which he has been hospitalized and he's been going in and out of hospitals for the duration of that time. Diabetes II is a horrible disease, and it is usually one that people bring about on themselves by way of their habits of life. Please, do me a huge favor, do not ever let this disease hit you. It is the mother of all other diseases, and people who suffer from it suffer as a result also from myriad other horrible diseases. It is just too bad - please do not do this to yourself, and don't let your loved ones do this to themselves. Do not eat too many cakes, cookies, chocolates or ice-creams. Do not drink the sweet poison Coca-Cola. Do not sit at your desk without moving every day. Eat fruits and nuts, eat vegetables. Do not eat too much of these things either - give your body breaks from eating, so that it would have time to digest. Digestion takes a lot of energy. When the body is constantly digesting food, it doesn't have much energy left to repair its cells and tissues and aging may occur as a result. Have breaks without food, enjoy feeling your stomach clean and empty for a few hours every day. When you do eat, eat in small quantities, do not leave your body full. The Rambam (Mimonides; Rabbi Moshe ben Mimon) said about a 1000 years ago that we should eat only about 80% of the volume of our stomach - leave 20-30% empty so that the stomach acids can reach every particle of food in your stomach and digest it well. In modern days we eat 120% of the volume of our stomachs, and a lot of processed complex sugars (which is a different molecule than the simple sugar molecules in fruits). It shortens our lives, quickens the aging process and worsens hurts our health.
Anyway, more on that at another time. In the meantime, back to that man. So he's been suffering from diabetes (he is Ashkenazi, and many ashkenazi Jews do not only eat processed sugars for desert, like cakes, etc., but they also cook a lot with processed sugar. Sugar is a spice for many of them). He had his foot amputated last week after suffering impossible pain there, and he's been going through a process of grief for his lost foot, even though it has given him such pain. Anyway, on Shabbat he has been in a much better mood, he was smiling, laughing, using humor, asking about everyone around him, making sure everyone is fine, etc. He has moved forward in the process of grief and it was very encouraging to see it. I've seen him in good days and bad days (in which he can become very angry and stubborn), but yesterday is the best I've seen him in the longest time. It has really encouraged me.
Since he is hospitalized in Sha'arei Tzedek hospital, far from where I live, his family has found (in the past few shabbats) a place for me to stay near the hospital, so I can sleep there and walk from there to the hospital. But for last shabbat all such rooms were taken and they had no place to place me at. I then found a hotel near-by, called the reception and was stunned to find that they have rooms (meaning, the hotel is not closed for corona), and that the rooms are very cheap now because of the corona. I gave this information to the family and they were thrilled to hear, they made arrangements for me to stay there. So I stayed at the hotel. When I came in, I saw that everything around was dark and there were no people there at all. I asked the clerk at reception how many guests they're having this Shabbat, and he said three... 3 guests. All this huge hotel was open for only 3 guests. And if I hadn't come, it would have been 2 guests. All of us were there to be near Sh'arei Tzeddek. Wow, I've never had this experience. I haven't been at a hotel in a long time, and I'm not crazy about hotel rooms (they all look the same, so cold and impersonal), but this time it was strange. It felt like a ghost-hotel - so empty, all the corridors were dark, the dining room was closed, the lobby was dark and empty. I didn't use the elevators, because of shabbat, so I was climbing up and down the stairs in this dark, dark, empty hotel. It was eerie.
The clerk taught me a shortcut that cuts the walking distance to the hospital by half and it was a huge help. Still, it was sad to see the hotel like this, and I still feel sad today, feeling like I spent a shabbat in a dark, deserted, ghost-house. Moreover, when I checked in to the hotel, I asked for a Shabbat key (a regular, mechanic key instead of the electrical key), but I didn't know I had to switch the room to a Shabbat Mode for the rest of the electrical appliances in the room (lights, airconditioning, etc.), so I closed some electric-circuits when opening and closing the door to the room. I feel very sad about it. When I realized that this is what was happening, I just left the door slightly open, but I had to open it once, knowing it would close the circuit, to go and feed him. After that, I just left the door open.
On the happy side, the patient that I visited was smiling, talking, he felt much better. He was eating (this is why I go there, to feed him, because he refuses to eat and someone needs to be there to encourage him to eat and feed him). He chose to eat only fruits that his family brought him, and I was OK with it. Fruits are OK even for people with diabetes, and they are very nourishing. It may be the best food they can have - light, easily digestable and full of vitamins and minerals.
What struck me most during those few shabbats that I spent with him was the special connection between him and his wife. Both of them suffer from retardation. They got married at a very late age, and yet there is so much love between them. He calls her with a nickname that he gave her, and she sleeps on a chair next to his bed every night of the week, refusing to leave his bedside. She sometimes feeds him fruits and he eats. She smiles at him and he smiles at her, they look at each other with so much love. She eats a lot (and unfortunately weighs a lot, which is not healthy), and he gives her his food, he gives her everything. It is just so moving to see. Both of them can have tempers and be angry, but not with each other. They are just so sweet, and I look at them and marvel - so much love, such pure love, without asking for anything in return, and with all the suffering that both of them experience, at least they have that. So many 'normal' (or neuro-typical) people don't know what love is - for them it is just an opportunity to receive, or take, anything they can have. For those two at the hospital it is nothing but that. There is so much devotion and dedication between them. I don't know many women who wouldn't leave their husband's bedside 24/7 and sleep on a chair (actually a sofa folded into a chair which she refuses to open and make it a bed). It is beautiful.
Anyway, I'm still sad after the experience at the hotel, but will bounce back to normal soon, don't worry.
Shavua Tov!
R.

17th of Tammuz

So today was the 17th of Tammuz, a fast day in which we commemorate the breaching of the city walls of Jerusalem during the times of the Roman Empire. So no food or water for a whole day, during which you feel the longing for complete redemption, you feel the suffering, you feel the anguish. And when the fast is over and you drink your first glass of cold water, you get an inkling of a feeling of redemption - you can satiate your thirst, and your hunger, of course.
I usually have no problem fasting, but today I was very weak, and truly suffered. I watched many YouTube videos of the Megalim Institute about our history, including a demonstration of what the Holy Temple probably looked like, based on different texts, and the Bible, of course. It was beautiful and it took my mind of my personal suffering of the fast and focused it on the theme of the fast - on our national fate and history.
At some point today I was even sure I got the coronavirus - I had shivers, my eyes were wet and not from tears, I felt so tired. But now, after having eaten, I no longer think that I have the coronavirus.
This pandemic is raging here with approximately 1400 new carriers a day. You would think that it is because they are performing more tests, but I don't think this is the reason. The fact that the number of critically ill patients has risen dramatically is a testimony to the fact that the virus is truly spreading fast.
I am so looking forward to going to bed now, to rest after this difficult day, but I first need to give my stomach time to digest the vegetable soup I ate to break the fast. No complaints, though!
In three weeks from now we will have a bigger fast, that of Tish'a b'Av - to commemorate the actual destruction of the Temple. I already know how I would like to pass that day - with a lot of educational videos and praying. I wish the day would come soon that the Temple will be rebuilt and we won't have to fast anymore. I don't like fast days, especially Tish'a b'Av. It is such a melancholic day...
Anyway, and with these optimistic words I'll end this post.
Good night!

A thought

I study a lot for my profession recently, and there is also a lot of emotional processing going on within me. As a result of these two things, the intellectual and emotional activity, I dream a lot -  our brains do this to process information when we sleep, and I find it fascinating.
Someone said, and I agree, that a dream is like an envelope containing a letter that is written and sent specifically to you. When you wake up, the memory of the dream is like that envelope containing the letter placed on your pillow. All you have to do is pick it up, open it and read the letter - that is, to recall the dream, live it a bit longer consciously, and try to figure out what it means and symbolizes to you. Some of it may contain prophetic contents (I've had a few of these dreams), but some of it may be just mundane rendering of themes from your current life. Some of it may be related to stimuli you encountered during the day, or elaborations of your emotional state.
I like doing it, to stay with the dream a bit longer when I wake up, but admittedly, not every dream makes me want to do that. Some dreams make me want to forget them as soon as possible, it is a relief to wake up and realize the bad experience I've just had was in the mind-dimension of the kingdom of dreams and not in my 'real' physical reality (and who knows if this reality we're living is not a dream in itself?).
Last night, not sure why, I had a horrible dream. I usually do not have a lot of bad dreams, but this time I had one, and it was scary. In my dream, I met Hitler, in person. I don't think I've ever dreamed of that monster in my life and not sure why now. Perhaps I saw a picture of him somewhere and it infiltrated my dream. I was sitting next to him, trembling with fear, and he was commanding me to do this or do that. All I wanted was to get away from there as soon as I could, and I took the first chance to do that and just left. So there's not much to the story (thank goodness), but what impressed me was that I was actually there with the person, I sensed his energy - dense, condensed, so tightly packed, that nothing else could go in. It was all just radiating "me, me, me" - all so full of himself, and no room for anything or anyone to penetrate that armor of selfishness and self-centeredness. It was as if his energy was so crude and thick, like that of an animal (if animals could talk I would apologize to them for the comparison). But anyway, it was repulsive. He was a repulsive man. When you hear of the atrocities that happened in WWII, it is hard to imagine that a person, one person, could start all this. It is hard to believe. But when I met him in the dream, I realized how it could have happened. It suddenly became clear. I could understand how someone like him would start something so horrible.
Strangest dream ever.
And of course, I was thinking of all the normal people I know from every culture, and how different they are: there's so much air between their mental, energetic 'molecules', there is room for other things and people but themselves there, this is what allows for goodness to come in, to the light of G-d to shine in them.

A concluding thought: I'm so appreciative of the fact that I live as a sovereign in a country of my own, not dependent upon other nations, like the descendants of Esau and Yishma'el, to host me in their lands, no matter how nice, kind and cultured they are.
Baruch HaShem.

Second wave

There is a second wave of Covid19 here. Yesterday there were 668 new carriers in one day. People go to the beaches, to restaurants, places where they don't normally wear masks, and the virus is having a feast.
The good thing compared to the first wave is that now at least the elderly people know that they must protect themselves, so they stay home, whereas the younger ones are out. Even if they get the virus, no harm is done to them, and as long as the elderly protect themselves, things can be more or less under control. Still, I think all of us should wear masks anywhere in the public domain and avoid social get togethers as much as possible. Yet, there is a feeling that life has started going back into normal again, more or less.
I resumed my volunteering in hospitals and this Shabbat I will do a whole shabbat with a patient who is in a serious condition and refuses to eat, unless someone is feeding him. The family paid a 1000 shekel to someone to be with him last Shabbat, it's a lot of money, but I said I'll do it as a volunteer. I'm a bit apprehensive because I know this patient and he may have his moods and may become very angry at times, but I'll give it a try. Also, the thought of being with a mask on Shabbat... I don't like it. It is hard to breathe with a mask. We'll see how it goes.
If you read my previous post about songs, you know I promised to update it from time to time to add more Hebrew songs with words from the Torah, the Prophets or Scriptures. I've added a few more since, and I'll add more soon, I hope. If there are any specific songs or any specific knowledge you'll be happy to read about, I'll be happy to hear it and see what I can do to help.
Have a blessed shabbat!
R.

Songs

In this post I will list Hebrew, Israeli songs that are taken from the Torah, Prophets and Scriptures, in short, from the Tanakh. I will update this list from time to time as more songs come to my mind, and you are welcome to check it and learn some new songs :)
Some of the songs have lyrics that are all from the Tanakh, whereas other songs have words from the Tanakh as well as other lyrics, a combination of both. The videos I chose are just the first ones I found, not necessarily the best ones out there. Some are older versions of the songs and some are newer. Some of them are composed and/or performed by secular artists and some are by religious ones. Anyway, they are all filled with love to G-d.

(update from May 20, 2021: This singer on her YouTube channel sings the Bible beautifully - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFPrj6w4p7Y). 

So here we start:

Psalms 92:12

צדיק כתמר יפרח (Tzadik KaTamar Yifrakh): 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P51ey6TVPYE

Psalms 150: 5-6

הללויה בצלצלי שמע (HaleluYah be'tziltzelei Shama):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKxjuK4zyvM

Genesis 32:11-12

קטונתי מכל החסדים (Katonti miKol HaKhasadim):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEVRSKH54fs

Song of Songs 5:8

השבעתי אתכם, בנות ירושלים (Hishba'ati Etkhem):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jm6CzO9z8g

Psalms 121

Shir LaMa'alot, Essa Einai el HeHarim:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MbtnsdCfWE

Deuteronomy 6:4

Shema Yisra'el:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBYWL8SAup4



ii Chronicles 26: 9-10
VaYiven Uzihahu:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtHOjDBc9NE

Isaiah 66:10  (as well as Jeremiah 46:27, Numbers 10:35 and Isaiah 49:18)
Sissu et Yerushalayim:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYZYBR-_hQs



Numbers 12:13
El na Refa Na La:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0D72zDZCI4&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR0EgQimJwCHISVi2eBH91bbd_idRXo88kki2f8zGalHqbRV7aCVb0_UnXg

Psalms 126:
Shir HaMa'alot, b'Shuv HaShem...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNy88yjX2K4

Deuteronomy 3:23-24

Va'Etchanan:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhoeIe-eFJw&feature=youtu.be

Psalms 127:

Im Hashem lo yivneh bayit... 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jfRyrlqInY

I'll keep updating this list. 

Shabbat Shalom,

R.