I'm sitting and writing this from one of my favorite spots - the 5th floor of the Mt. Scopus library. Some days in our lives we are prompted to think more thoroughly than usual about our journey, and about our current stop in the journey, and also about the direction we are about to take from now on.
Sometimes we want to make a change, but we lack the courage to do it: "What would people say... how would my life be if I make the change... what if people in my new life won't support me... how would I make a living...", etc.
But the important question is not any of these. The only important question is: Does G-d favor my new direction? Does He will it? Will He support this decision? All the other questions are not important. Really. Will I be able to sanctify G-d's name in my new life? Will I be able to serve Him as He wants? These are the important questions.
I once asked Hashem in my heart if a certain person will do a certain crucial change. Or, more precisely, a change back to where they used to be when I first met them. The answer came pretty quickly: That specific person does not leave even a small crack open for Me to get in and guide Him to the new (old) direction. It is in the hands of the person, and G-d is there, waiting for the person to open a small opening, so that He can get in and guide them. But they lock all doors... trying to make meaning of the path they're already on, perhaps silencing any nagging doubt or feeling of unsurety.
This makes me sad, but I have to respect their decision and choice.
Today I walked near where they used to live. Some of their energy is still there. But they aren't.
Anyway, life goes on.
OtOmG