two dreams

I had a terrifying dream, but even in that dream Hashem was with me, “speaking” to me.

A few years ago, just as the Corona pandemic began, I started growing my hair again, with the purpose of donating it again to a charity organization that makes wigs for cancer patients. It grew really fast and now it is very long. It is basically ready for donation and has been for a year at least. But then, I started liking being with long hair again and therefore delayed the donation. I recently even debated within myself whether to donate it eventually or not…

Earlier this week, I dreamed that my hair was falling out in big chunks, and that most of my head was completely bald, except for some long strands that were left in the bottom part of the scalp. In the dream, I saw myself in the mirror, and it was a horrifying sight. I touched my head and it was so smooth and shiny. I was around some young women who had their hair and I felt so bad that my hair was falling out. The dream was so real.

When I woke up and realized it was just a dream, I couldn’t believe it. I felt such a huge relief. I touched my head, finding it hard to believe that I have my hair, that it is there and hasn’t fallen out. Even now, as I remember this dream, I touch my head, just to make sure it is real and that I have my hair (G-d’s gift) with me. And a small corner in my heart refuses to believe it is actually there. The dream was so convincing… Truthfully, this corner is not that small… I feel the urge to touch my head from time to time, to appreciate the fact that this was just a dream and not the reality. And I’m so thankful that it was.

The message of the dream was so clear and poignant. For some people this is not just a bad dream, it is their reality. And since I grew the hair long in the first place just to donate it and saw G-d’s providence in the speed with which it grew, I cannot now keep it selfishly to myself. I have to donate it. That morning, as I woke up, I called the charity organization that makes wigs to ask some details and information on how to do it this time, and after some consultation, I decided to do it in December. They have an ‘event’, a day dedicated to cutting donors’ hair in Jerusalem. I have one more month to enjoy being with long hair, before it will be on someone else’s head. And I pray that Hashem would never ever let me be in the horrible situation I saw in my dream. I now understand a bit better the pain and anguish of the people who undergo chemo. There is more power in my prayer now, because in a way I experienced one aspect of it myself, albeit in the dream. G-d speaks to us through our dreams!

May we all be healthy always and cherish our health, it is not obvious at all!

I had a totally different dream a few nights ago, very real again. I saw a group at the lobby of a hotel in Jerusalem. It was the Dan/Hyatt Hotel, but it looked more like the Inbal Hotel. I pretended not to see, not to notice. I didn’t want to embarrass anyone. The images from the dream stayed with me throughout that day.

Today I went through some old diaries and photocopies of letters that I wrote and sent many, many years ago. I am totally there now. As if time has no meaning whatsoever. Etzli Hakol Beseder... 

One beautiful thing that is evolving in my life right now, which is still in its inception but still very beautiful, is my Bible study group with the old ladies. At first, I thought I would follow the Weekly Torah Portion with them, and this is what we did, until Simchat Torah, and it went beautifully well, but took a lot of preparation time from me. Then, after Simchat Torah we started reading the Torah from the beginning, but because there is so much to say, we don't catch up. We are still in the first portion, even though this week in synagogues they will read the third portion. My ladies and I will continue with the first portion for a while. Today we thought that instead of calling the class "Weekly Torah Portion", we will just call it "Torah Study" or "Bible Study". We read the verses, and talk about the revealed and hidden meanings in the text. Each verse encourages so many stories and sharing, and it is all so spiritual, uplifting and inspiring. It is really a gift from above. Now I want to do it with other groups as well, but I feel that I should first let the flame strengthen, and then the opportunities will present themselves. I've always wanted to be a motivational, spiritual speaker. Now I have a chance to do it, albeit on a small, cozy scale. 

I'm very happy with the results of our elections. The Jewish identity camp won. The anti-Jewish identity lost. With G-d's graces. Baruch Hashem. I love Hashem. He is my deepest, truest friend. No one like Him.